7 Ways to Reach the Moon (Pt. 2)

I'm still loving it! Again, I also can't help but to agree with niteowl, but I really like these.

Hi there fortis! Nite here to finish what she started.

First line: I think this would be more effective as "We parted", so it transitions from sharing the blame to taking full responsibility for leaving.

The awkward phrasing: There's quite a few places where it seems off, and I can't decide if it's intentional or not.

"little did I know it"
"ugly as to hide"
"other lovers has she"--the other two kind of work, but I'm not liking this one. I'd go with "But she has other lovers now".

Overall, not much to say. I am not helping my team too much with these haha. Keep writing!

This Review Day Review courtesy of

The ending stuck out so perfectly to me because...heh, I'm guilty of that too. I like the imagery and similes you have incorporated. I wish it was longer though; I feel like I'm being left out on more of the story than what is being told. Like what you found out but I guess that is for my imagination to create. Brief yet intriguing. I think this poem is pretty awesome.

So short and sweet, yet with a flood of emotions. Your diction is flawless it almost tears me to shreds. (A bit awkward if I do say so myself XD) It's amazing especially the part that is written, "she grew as fair as a beam of sunlight and I, ugly as to hide amidst the craters of the moon." So much imagery bundled in such a short amount of space, I must say you really pulled it off. I never seen anything like this really. Astonishing job, I hope to read more of your intriguing poems!

*sneaks in for a comment. Not trying to get points, so this isn't spam*

and all I have is my honor
and my nose.