I was tired of giving titles to my poems starting with an 'I' but it's so strange, I begin my poems with an 'I' , well most of them.
My young cousin had to submit a project, and thus I created this poem and painted it on the chart paper. I drew reindeers, Santa claus, candles and snowflakes. Phew!! ':)
I never knew Ringo Starr had a song titled "I wanna be a Santa Claus" so I didn't cheat :))
"I want to be a Santa Claus",
This is what I answered when asked upon.
They giggled, grinned and laughed
Thought of me being daft
And they asked me what was the cause?
So I said,
"I love the red dress
Red is the shade of love
I love the white beard
Soft as snow, velvety to touch.
I'll come riding on my sleigh
With the red -nose reindeer guiding the way.
Gifts I'll give all around
Especially to those children sleeping on the ground.
Smiles I'll spread , no more frowns.
I want to be a Santa Claus
Because Jesus loves those
Who share affection with any people
Without a cause".
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138,256 Literary Works • 672,091 Reviews
Hello just going to do a small review.
It's the time of year so something like this is always nice to read. It rhymed it was simple and it was filled with cheer. It flowed pretty well and I didn't really see any gaping flaws. I did find it a bit weird that you used the word daft like that, i personally see in in the common question "are you daft?" but there is nothing wrong in the way you used it at all. I liked the fact that the person just wants to be generous to everyone, even those who have nothing it really is just a feel good poem.
it's also funny how you he didn't mention about giving some of the bad kids coal.
It's a good poem and Merry Christmas
Hello~
First off:
Santa wears a dress? o_O
Secondly, the not-bold, bold bothers me, but if that was on purpose, then keep it. I just don't see a purpose for it.
I think that "this is what I answered when I was asked" would work better.
I think that "Thought that I was being daft" would work better.
You seem to be attempting to rhyme a little in this poem, but I don't think it worked very well at all. It was forced in places, and non-existent in others. I say, either have good rhymes in a set pattern, or just scrap the rhymes altogether. Although I *will* say that this is a good type of poem to rhyme on.
Anyway, I really liked how cute this poem was, and how fitting for the season. I think you did a good job, and it was great for a little decoration on a school project!
It was very cute. ^^
Great job, keep writing!
~fortis
Haha I know I made a lot of mistakes there but I wanted to keep it short and simple because afterall it was supposed to be a 5yr old's project.
But I appreciate your review. Thanks
Hello there ^-^
Now, this is such a bubbly, cute poem. I've fell into wonderland when I was reading it. I actually can relate to it, if I say. My sister once asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now, she decided to ask me on the day I got my wisdom teeth pulled, so I was a little...loopy? I replied to my sister, "I want to be Santa Clause" Haha.
Enough about me. You're poem is short, but it's sweet and detailed. The part that had touched me though, was when you stated:
"Gifts I'll give around
Especially to those children sleeping on the ground."
That was beautiful, it touched my heart like you wouldn't have believed. It reminds me off the homeless children who have to stay on the side of the street during Christmas time. They get no presents, they get no love. But in your poem, it made me think, we could make that change. We could help them. We can always make a difference.
Other than that, I really don't have anything else to say, except, I hope you and your family have a very merry Christmas.
-huez
Aww, thanks and you too friend ^_^
This is a very nice poem, with a lovely viewpoint, reminding me of some of the main characters is a few of my favorite novels. I also greatly approve of the last phrase (I'm sure there's a technical term for such a thing, but I don't know what it is), being a Christian, and it took me completely by surprise, leaving the poem on a positive note.
Also the rhythm worked well in this poem, which is somthing I always look for in a poem, and morn it's absence in some contemporary works.
It is quite interesting how here red is the shade of love, but in "Of Mice And Men" (A work I wish I didn't have to study) red is danger and death.
Hope this review was helpful,
Take That You Fiend!
I believe in it, that god love those who love everybody. Since it's a school-project that too for a primary student, so I tried my best to deliver a message that they can understand, i.e. the message of love, and that humanity is the ultimate religion.
Thank you!!
Merry X-mas !!
Oink,Oink
Your welcome!
IT'S CHRIIIIIIISTMAAAASSSSSSSS. Honestly, I'm listening to Kerrang! radio just now and the DJ's are unbelievably grouchy. I'm like, would you please just cheer up?! So thank you, thank you for being jolly, for sounding like you would be a very cheerful Santa Claus.
I loved the alliteration of "Smiles I'll spread", the reference to Rudolph "the red-nose reindeer" which sounded almost like an inside joke and the soft sounds of "soft as snow".
Just a slight typo I think where you missed out "is" in "This what I answered when asked upon", unless that's on purpose in which case just ignore me, never mind.
Merry Christmas!
Oh yeah, I missed that 'is', so I just corrected that. No, no flaw is negligible, it's good you mentioned it.
Thanks very much!!
Merry Christmas, you too ^_^
This is such a good poem!
) and the flow of the poem is really good in my opinion.
I like the festivity here for starters (TWO DAYS!
I had never thought of Santa Claus quite as deeply as this I admit, and when I was reading
"I love the red dress
Red is the shade of love
I love the white beard
Soft as snow, velvety to touch."
It really made me think, you know, and just be really impressed by your wording and thoughts put into this poem!
One of my favourite lines was:
"Smiles I'll spread , no more frowns."
I like it because it captures the image very well and really has a good ring to it. The poem was well written and easy to read.
Great work here, I love it, I can't believe it's Christmas so soon though!
-CFG
Oh thank you dear. i'm glad you enjoyed it.
Merry Christmas !!!
<3 MarS