**There's no special reason that I used the ampersand(&) at a few places, I just like the symbol. That's all.
This poem is not a very favourite of mine, but I don't know why, my mother likes it very much. **
It's my birthday.
Mum cuddled me with hopes & expectations,
Kissed my forehead with affection.
She shed tears remembering the time when I was an infant.
Still she believes I'm innocent, even when the walls around me are painted
Grey by the world which constantly doubts me of what I can
Do. To her I am the most beautiful.
She adores me forever.
And proudly I wear her faith
I am adorned by her love all over.
---
Daddy's little daughter I am.
His trust, his hope, his love I am.
A young lady, to the world, who just
Completed her 17 years of youth,
Turned into someone so changed, so different.
Yet I know, still the same I am.
---
Slowly the time will turn another page, another chapter of my life.
I dream of being rich, pretty & wise.
---
It's my birthday.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
This is an amazing poem c:
I love this one part in the poem can I can relate especially the closeness to your mother, cause I am close to my mother too.
This is such an exciting poem, especially when your own family is involved, which makes your poem unique.. special.. original!
Keep up the good work x3
-K
Timmyjake to leave you a short review.
I loved this!! It kind of tells a story. That your parents will never see that you are grown up. They will always se the toddler inside of you, not the mature woman you have become. For guys, I think it is about the same.
I don't think I have any criticism for you. For some reason some lines finish on the following line, though. For instance:
Grey by the world which constantly doubts me of what I can
Do.
I am just curious, but was that intentional? It didn't interrupt the rhythm, I think. I am just curious if that was intentional or not.
So I really liked this poem. I think that it is one that a lot of people can relate to, but especially people on this site. And I don't understand why you don't like it very much. After all, it is awesome!!
Happy Writing!!
~Timmyjake
Well it was, sort of. I like breaking the lines so that it makes the rhyming words clear. But yeah, thank you! Thank you for the review. ^^
What I enjoyed about this poem was the sense of pride which I felt from the mother and father. I reminds me of my own mother. She stll sees me as a baby. Much like the mother in your poem.
Everything in your poem was going rather well then I read the last few lines
For me these lines were cliched. Also from what I could gather about the daughter I seen her as being some what or a 'punk rebel'. From the last line she came across as a 'girly girl'. So that threw me off a little.
All in all I thought the poem was good. It had emotion but towards the end I lost my interest. Nice job and happy writing! ~Niraco
Haha, yeah I know. I wrote that just because!
Anyways, thanks
This is a heart-warming poem that makes me think of my mother. I love the sincerity of the poem, which lacks cheese or cliches. Though it did get a little repetitive around the middle, what with all the "am"s. If all your poems are as sincere as this, then I'd be thrilled to read them.
It's special 'cause my mum likes this. And also because today's my birthday and it's regarding that.
I'm grateful for your kind review. I try to stay as sincere and honest as I can, and it's wonderful how you noticed it. So thank you !
~MarS