-Man 1- Cows and chickens
Eating haystacks and seeds
Is it madness
-Man 2-
Madness it is
Seeds and haystacks eating
Chickens and cows
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137,602 Literary Works • 672,051 Reviews
Heya, Lost! Casanova here to do another review for you!
Anyway, here's some things I would consider when writing poetry-
1- your message.
Your message is sometimes a crucial part in what you're writing. It helps the reader make sense of everything, and allows them to see what you meant or what you felt whenever you were writing your poem. Sometimes a message is funny or sad, or other times angry or void of anything.
2- your images.
Imagery is another thing that is important. It allows the reader to place themselves in the poem and see what it's like. Imagery also conveys your message, so use imagery that connects to your message. If you're talking about a dog I don't think you'd want to say it was a cat, now would you? It's really important.
3- your emotion.
Your emotion is also a crucial part. It allows the reader to feel your message. Images put out this emotion sometimes, so consider that. Emotion is a really helpful tool sometimes as well, as it allows you to play around with what you're wanting to say. Images also help with that. They go hand in hand a lot of the time. Anyway, emotion for me is a key point. It's strong, it's there, and it makes your poem either strong or boring, depending on the emotion you put into it.
Anyway, I would like for you to think about that. That's all I have to say about this one and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
Ohhh....whoa! Now I understand why you don't have punctuation!
That's clever. And now it's making me think... is sanity really the opposite of insanity? The "sane" man is saying the same thing, just in a different order. Same information, different way of putting it. Is that what insanity is, or something else altogether? Hmm...
Quite an interesting image.
The only thing is, as previous reviewers have said - you have a different font in the first two lines, probably a formatting issue. I'd also suggest bolding -Man 1- and -Man 2- to make them stand out more against the stanzas.
Overall, well done.
Hey, sorry for the late reply, but I'm here to review!
First off, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thing you may have messed up with the font. I'm assuming you were just going to change the font for 'Man 1'.
Now, I know this is somewhat 'tasteless', but I have to comment on it. Punctuation. In such a short poem, you really have to grab on to whatever you can. Especially since some of the poem really can be read in different ways.
In the last two lines it says
Which could read as "The seeds and haystacks are eating chickens and cows." or it could read as a confirmation. i.e "seeds and haystacks eating, the chickens and cows" which basically means "yes, that's what they're eating"
When taking punctuation out of a poem, you really have to make it so that we can get your meaning without it.
Now, considering this as a palindrome, I would say you did a good job. My only problem with this as a palindrome poem is the 'man 1', 'man 2' thing. Why would Man 2 speak first? When writing a palindrome, make sure that everything makes sense both forwards and backwards.
That's all I can say! Keep writing!
-Hightop
Hello there, a quick review on your poem here.
Based on the title alone, the poet has submitted the question of insanity. It is through the ideas of the opinion between two men who have their own views.
You give two subjects in the poem that could conceivably give meaning or may just preferred the regular subjects.
The first man thought about something that I think makes sense, but he was considered it as madness. In fact the opposite occurs on second man. It's more just a matter of opinion, it makes the reader wonder and when they understand it, they immediately wanted to scream, 'I got it!'. So I think it's a creative and fun ideas to think about (at least not to solve a math problem!).
Another varieties that you create is you have reverse the sentences that have been built.
*e.g;Is it madness --->Madness it is ->Sentences in the passive form to give the same meaning.
And when everything is reversed, it gives a different meaning and instantly give clues about who is the mad man. That is like solving a puzzle! It's fun to read too.
Keep writing! Kudos, cheers.
So brilliant. So short but made me think more than anything else I've read today. Clever sausage.
Hey Lost!
Short works are so hard to review >.<
I think it's really cool that you're working on these. It's a hard skill to learn so I can't wait to check back in a while and see how you're getting on with them.
As for this little nugget the only criticism I have is the 'cows and chickens' part. I know it's a hard thing to write anyway, but any kind of list in a palindrome is a bit of an easy way out.
The best palindromes are the ones through which reversing the words completely changes the meaning, like 'eating haystacks' and 'haystacks eating' completely changes the mentality of the two men talking. 'Cows and chickens' and 'chickens and cows' doesn't take much effort to put together and so I think is taking away from the beauty of the palindrome a little.
I do of course admire you. I don't think I could manage to pull one of these off unless I spent fifteen hours working on it first. It's a bold artform and I really hope you keep working at it =]
This is the most accurate poem I have read all day.
Seriously. I like how Man 2 just turns it around, and his reply is so weird, yet so right.
I dunno. I find it cool.
When I made my sister read this, she just looked at me and walked away.
Which I laughed at, by the way.
I read it again, and again.
I think it just fits so well that I don't understand how well it does fit.
If that makes any sense.. xD
But, anyway, it's fitting. So, yeah.
Well, good job on being successful!
Have a nice day.
sounds like my conversations with people everyday
Well, it's a bite satirical, and seems rushed. xD IT doesn't seem like a poem, more like a school assignment.
But it is quite amusing.
Definite E for Effort =p
I... Don't have any suggestions at this time.
Who is the sane one? Basically just have two men talking in a palindrome. (The palindrome is the only reason I put it in poem)