The mirror: Shows perfection.
A beautiful image
That seems too good to be true.
The camera: Shows flaws.
A image of ugliness
That hurts in more ways than one.
The mirror: Shows the truth.
How we really look inside
Even if no others can see it.
The camera: Shows lies.
How everyone else sees yourself
Even though it's not the real you
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
Heya, Lost! Casanova here to do a review for you! Anyway, I'll be taking this section by section(stanza by stanza) so I hope you don't mind! To the review!
The first stanza-
Hmm, this is something different than the previous poems I've seen you do. You're experimenting, and I like that. A couple of notes, however. The first thing is the periods. I'm not sure you're wanting to go full a full stop, as it seems like an unnatural way for the poem to continue. I would suggest either commas or no punctuation at all, as for flow it's difficult. The next thing is the last line. I would suggest stating something IS than rather it SEEMS. It sets a scene and makes it pretty, so to speak. So instead it SEEMS to good to be true, try it IS too good to be true. Anyway, onward.
I like the images here and the truth behind them, and I don't really have anything to critique about these lines. So props for that.
The one thing that I don't like about this is the repetition about the mirror and such. I coould see all this going into a couple of lines at the top, instead of being repeated to lengthen the poem. Anyway, onward.
Here I really like the ending of the poem, and I think you've got your imagery and you've put your emotion into it. So props for that.
Anyway, that's all I have to say about this one and I hope it helped.
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron
Hi Dear Lostthought!!
This is Eros here to review your wonderfull work!!
I loved the poem. It has an underlying idea. It is basically a comparison between a mirror and the camera.
The first stanza describes the mirror. It speaks about the beautiful image formed by a miror.
It tells about the perfection of image formed by a plane mirror.
The second stanza tells us aboout a camera. It speaks about the ugly images that a camera produces. I agree with this sentence, Lostthought. I myself have experienced it. And for the same reason I never click my photos or allow anyone to click them. I look really ugly in a photograph.
The third stanza is again about a mirror. It is a true image of how we are from inside. I agree that it gives us a true image.
The fourth stanza is about a camera again.It says that a camera gives us a false image.
I agree to every fact that have been expressed in the poem in a bautiful manner. I loved to read the stanzas of the mirror and the camera which is written alternately. It gave a nice switch - over and a good comparison. I loved reading your poem.
You are doing great!!
Keep writing!!
Hey, yo, lostthought! Strangelove here on this PokeReview Day and I have a quick review for you!
Alright, I do get the message in this poem. It reminds me of that filtering thing that is often used on the website Instagram. The message is evident, but sometimes the message needs to be shown more. Maybe it needs to be bigger to capture all of its potential and use it. This wasn't bad, but it can be better. First, the good stuff.
It has one of those inspirational messages often used in poems. I have seen this theme used a lot, but that's what themes are for. It's how you utilized it is what made it enjoyable. You pick a different comparison and used to prove your point. That was a smart move, and I liked that.
But, this poem wants to say more than it can. You have a good idea going for yourself, but it's too small or just feels weird. I can sense that this wants to prove a big message about self image and how it's about self reflection, but this tries hard to be short. It attempts to be small yet hold an impact. I honestly felt not that much of an impact. It was just there. It said the truth and left it there for readers. There needs to be slightly more clarifying to help it out. I never read any of your poems so I don't know your average writing style, but this wasn't bad for a start.
Overall, decent job.
Strangelove gives you..
6.7/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.
#TeamPlasmaStruck
Hey, Unnatural here to review!
I literally laughed as I read this, it's so true! I totally agree with this.
Ok, let me get moving.
First, you don't really have to put the columns because it's unnecessary. Well, it's your writing, so if you decide to keep it, then it's totally your choice
Second, you wrote
"How we really look inside
Even if no others can see it"
maybe it can be improved to something like:
"The love and pain deep inside us,
which only a few can see"
(I know that sucks it was just something I thought of right now) but try to show be detailed. What's inside that no one can see? Describe what's inside.
The same goes for the camera part. How does everyone see you? Be more detailed!
Also... some grammar revisions.
"How everyone else sees yourself" should probably be "How everyone else sees you". You don't need that SELF. It doesn't really sound right.
And if you don't want that repetition of "you" those last two verses at the end, you can edit
"even though it's not the real you" to "even if that's not really who you are"
Sorry if I was a bit cruel/weird/asked you to edit something but it was intentional.
Hope I helped!
Yeah, I wrote this in the middle of the night.
You don't want me to describe the insides! Yuck, blood and guts and all that good stuff. But seriously, if you read other poems of mine I wrote in the middle of the night, I'm more vague. Oh well.
I put those columns there because the stuff after it was supposed to be a new line. Since there is a bug orglitch there, I can't space things the way I want to on a kindle.
Thanks for the review. You can see more on my NaPo thread!
Beautiful poem, and I can really relate to it. It's interesting how we view ourselves in the mirror, versus how people may view us in a photograph, and reading this poem really made me think.
I have to admit, I didn't quite understand it until reading:
"How everyone else sees yourself
Even though it's not the real you"
I really have nothing negative to say. It was short, and to the point, yet powerful, and interesting.
Good work and keep writing!
~Hadj
I like this because it really just speaks to me on a different level. I just absolutely love how honest it is. I honestly don't even have anything to nitpick at.
But I think my favorite part would be:
"The camera: Shows lies.
How everyone else sees yourself
Even though it's not the real you"
I can't even explain how much I can relate to this. And how others I know can elate to this.
Overall...you did an absolutely amazing job. Thank you for writing this.
Good job. Can't wait to read more!