Opposites that can't be without

Heya, Lost! Casanova here to do a review for you!

Anyway, I would like to say that overall I think that the idea of this poem was actually interesting, which shocked me because I didn't really think that you were a person for poetry. But oh well, shock aside, let's get to the details.

Okay, so you have your opposites. But all you're doing with them is describing what they really are. I don't see any poetic devices, and I don't see really any emotion in any of these lines, and that was a bummer. You have a really good idea here, and I would love to see it to its full potential. Anyway, here are some ways to help it.

Images, of course, being the number one. Good! Now, you have your subject. Say night and day. Now, what do we see? What do we here? WE have dark, but that's cliche. We have bright, but it's amidst the day. Of course we're going to see dark and light. But, what's in it? What makes it so special? What do we here and feel? I would love to see these answered.

The next thing I would suggest would be to stop with the shop listing of details. You're giving it to us 100%. Like basically screaming,"YO DOG IT'S THIS WAY." Nupe, that's not a good way to go about it if you're doing poetry.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped. Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron.

Hi! An interesting idea you have here and I'm a big fan of palindromes to tell you the truth, though this isn't actually one. A palindrome is actually a word or phrase which can be read both forwards and backwards, like 'level' or 'radar'.

But never mind that, maybe you can edit the poem to include one in it just for fun! Another example would be something like 'EVIL LIVE' which has a pretty funky look about it as well, especially in all caps.

As for the poem itself, I think you did a nice job and I like the idea that death is unknown without life, but maybe you need to emphasise the downside of never-ending day a bit more. Bright and sunny sounds fun to me and not particularly 'tired' so perhaps you could add in an example there to help us understand how sometimes it's a relief for the night to come and to black out the sun. How people need to rest and revitalise and how hard that would be if it was always bright.

I was just thinking and actually, there is such a thing as a palindrome poem and that format would fit this really well because it would support your need for opposites. I've dug out a link to it here and maybe you should give that a go! It would really add another level to this.

Keep exploring the world of writing!

Heather xx

Hey! I'm here to review this extremely well written poem! And I have to say, I really enjoyed reading it!

First off, this was just a great work to read, and I can tell you put a lot of effort in smoothing everything out so it is just right. I really enjoyed that there is a great balance between the metaphors of light and dark, not one is quite overpowering the other in this poem and you can tell this flows well when you read it, great job.

I love how your opening line goes straight to the point and hooks the reader in, letting them know what this poem is about, without giving too much away. It also really sets the tone for the poem and makes the reader feel like there is a nice balance in the poems flow right away.

The whole first stanza is very well written and is really a great example of how an intro should be, it sets the tone for the piece, it has a great flow and it's well balanced to top it off. The only thing that I would say about it though, is it really is just stating something, rather than painting a picture for the reader, you have the right idea and balance, I would just recommend, trying to use more descriptions in the opening so the reader has a sense of being immersed in the poem instead of just viewing the poem.

I like the idea of the second stanza, and again, it has a nice flow to it, and I would say you nailed the second stanza, I have almost nothing to say you should change about it. It lacks descriptions, but that actually works to your advantage, your stating things and the reader gets a sense of purpose in this poem from those statements and makes them think that you know what your talking about.

The third stanza is great because you started to step it up with the descriptions and the idea of showing, not telling, great job with that. But even with that said, there is a sense of being told, but not overwhelmingly, a nice balance between the two, actually, great job and it keeps this theme of balance you have going throughout this entire poem, I like it a lot.

The fourth stanza is basically the third stanza with words substituted in, and I like that you tried to keep the theme of the second stanza going, but maybe try to reword it so it keeps a nice flow, but doesn't restate exactly what the third stanza already stated, because that could get repetitive. Repetition is good in a poem, though, I'm not saying it's not, just try to keep the theme and message of the third stanza and just transfer it to the fourth in the form of different words, so you get a restated theme, but not a repeated stanza.

The ending in this poem is just great, and I wouldn't change anything, it really encompasses the entire theme and message of this poem, while at the same time, giving the reader a sense of closure and keeping the balance you had throughout the entirety of this poem, great job. It is also a great use of repetition in a poem and makes you think about the rest of the poems theme. I wouldn't change anything.

All in all, I really enjoyed this poem and I hope to read more from you. If you have any questions or just want to follow up with me, then don't hesitate to message me privately or if you just want to chat. Keep writing and I hope you have a great day!

~Jony

Hello Lostthought!

I liked this poem a lot. You did a GREAT job of contrasting but at the same time, finding the same in two entirely different substances. This poem is very deep, and I read this over a few times just because I loved it!

Life is long and dreary
Unending without death
Death is dead and unborn
Unknown without life

This part, is the part I loved the most. It's exactly like 'what came first, the chicken or the egg?' :3 I could think about this and TRY to understand the fragment above, but I wouldn't be able to for a long, long time.

Great job at writing this awesome poem! Keep on writing!

Great poem... I thought it was pretty cool how you made the poem about things that are opposite but how they still need the other to be an opposite. At least that was how I saw it. Good job! Keep writing.

- Magenta

P.S. No one is reviewing my poem, Mirage, can you help out and review?