Young Writers Society

Hello there

Such a nice poem, even if it's short.

At first when I started reading, I thought that there are no rhyming verses/words, but when I continued, I found the rhymes, which in my opinion, a rhyming poem makes it look more enjoyable to read.

Your poem looks like a "whole stanza" (paragraph). I would suggest that when you write another poem, keep in mind to divide it into stanzas. That way, the readers won't feel like they have to read it fast, but it will help them reflect more between stanzas.

On the whole, keep on writing!

Hi, LyricalRebel here to make a review of your poem entitled "Memory"
Though short, it is quite mesmerizing. It catches the real feeling when you are just sitting alone and reminiscing all the sweet memories you've experienced. Memories which haunt us and try to forget were depicted solemnly.
It contains metaphor which I really admire. I like it. Keep up the good work and I hope to read more of your work!

This is a wonderful little poem, full of imagery and wonderful flow. It does an excellent job of showing how lonely he is, even when in sleep, which should be an escape and not a continuance of our daily lives. Like most poems, it leaves me wishing there was a whole story laid out to go with it so I could understand every shadowy detail to perfection and know the character spoken of. For a poem, though, I think the amount of revealing done is very telling and picturesque. Well done!

Hey, HT here to review.

It's so hard to review short pieces, mostly because they're so good. That is the case here.
But it's also easy in the sense that this will be a short review.

First of, there is nothing at all technically wrong with this poem. The flow/rhythm is excellent, the wording is wonderful, the imagery amazing, and the technicality (grammar, punctuation, and spelling) is absolutely perfect.

There is one thing that I would like to mention, and perhaps this is just me, but:

Royal members of this court,

Dance around in jest, yet bring him no joy.

Hiya, Gracker! The name's Storm and I'll be doing a quick review for ya tonight!

First off, I really like the wording you used in this short poem. It sets me in a dark, lamenting mood that I believe fits perfectly for your work here. I think I'm especially in love with the line, "Royal members of this court, Dance around in jest..."

Now, here's the part where the writer starts to hate the reviewer: when the reviewer points out all the nitpicks. Sorry, but it must be done. There are quite a few errors in "Memories", starting off with the opening line.

A breezy touch sweet with memory, Awakens endless whispers...

The comma after "memory" isn't necessary, and it therefore abruptly pauses the thought.

He surrenders to a restless mind-- Thoughts blazing with existence Hidden beyond reach, gaining stregnth.

After "restless mind", the two dashes should not be written there. Instead swap those out with the handy ol' comma. Then, the word "strength is misspelled! Double check that spelling, please!

Royal members of this court, Dance around in jest...

As much as I love these lines, I cannot look past the punctual mistake here. Once again, unnecessary comma usage stops up your poem. Dispose of the comma before "dance", then you're all patched up!

That's all for this quickie, so as always: Write on!

---Storm