Young Writers Society

Hi there, really nice poem there I like the way that it is structured and the way the poem flows. Nice work! The words have a very vivid expression in the poem also so thumbs up! Its also very realistic which makes it a bit funny..to me. Anyway great poem! Keep writing!

I loved it! I liked the way you personified everything with "talking" and "breathing" and "crying." The way you wrote it made the storm seem beautiful and terrifying at the same time which is exactly how thunder and rain are in real life. And I also had to read it over a few extra times because I kept coming up with new angles to take it in. That's always a good thing.

This is really good. I like the way you described the storm and the sky. This poems gives a sense of sadness and fear. This poem is like a darkish poem, but it's still super good. I don't think the clouds turn purple during a storm though. They're just a little darker, that's all. But anyways, nice job on the poem. I loved it.

This is beautiful. Thunder has always amazed me and I love the way you describe it. Like how you say that they all turn purple, voilet it makes me think of how dark the clouds are when there is a thunderstorm. It explains thunder perfectly to me. I also agree that you can not talk over thunder lol.

Simply breathtaking.....well done!

Today I was in one of those moods where reading one of those excessively long pieces would be torture. But this was perfect, I got to enjoy something short and sweet but heck descriptive. You nailed giving thunder a bit of personality, thunder is a bit intimidating! Haha!

Did you write this on a stormy day? If so, brilliant observation buddy.

Continue writing poems, because you obviously have a knack for them.

Legy.

Wow. This is great. I personally love short poems rather than longer ones, so good choice in poem-length. I also enjoyed how you began and ended with the same phrase, but it might have been just a slight bit too repetitive to have that be your title as well; maybe just 'Thunder' or something. I was never good at titles.

As far as nitpicky-ness goes, I'd consider a read-through purely for punctuation. I know it's a poem so there's more liberty in this area, but I'd suggest correct or none and there should be a period or a semicolon after "They dare not breathe". Also, you don't have to capitalize the first letter of every line; I'd suggest capitalizing just what's necessary with the normal rules of grammar. (You have no idea how long it took me to spell necessary correctly, it's almost not funny.) Sorry if I'm telling you stuff you already know; I feel like you have a lot of experience writing poem just by the level of quality of this poem, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

The first half is better than the second; it exhibits a strong command of words on your part; they fit together in a very natural way; flows from the tongue. The only line that isn't quite as natural it "With drops, the sky they smear." Rarely in a poem can you mix up the part of the sentence in this way and get away with it; it usually ends up coming off as if you're trying too hard to rhyme, which you shouldn't be doing in the first place since the basic school of thought is that you should have a rhyme scheme or you shouldn't rhyme at all.

Wow; this was a long review considering the length of your poem. I feel like I lectured at you a lot but just bear with me for a little while longer. I love the last two sentences; they're an oxymoron I believe? Whatever they are, I love it, the logical hiccup of it. Awesomeness.

I also love how you just put "violet" on a line all by itself. Adds just a touch of drama without the one-word line being overused. Perfect line lengths overall actually.

Wow!!!!!!
I love the thunder and that now gives a whole new meaning