Young Writers Society

Hi there! Noir here, and I'll be your reviewer today. Let's rock!

Concept: I loved this concept. It's very cool and it's very thought provoking. It pretty much sums myself up and the title intrigued me. "Creating you own philosophy" is what I've done my whole life. Thumbs up.

Structure: Couplets. I love them. I love reading them. I love writing them. I love everything to do with them. The end words you used matched each other nicely and it gave it a very quaint feel. Thumbs up.

Rhythm: Okay, here's where I have to kinda knock the poem. In a couple of areas there were places where the couplets beat threw each other off.

"Words scattered can never be collected--

So your diction of words for it's usage can be mightily selected." This couplet is out of balance, so either extending the first or shortening the second would help that.

Overall, the rhythm was okay. :I

Final verdict: Great. Rhythm issues aside, you have a fantastic poem here. Some touch ups and you'd be set.

This has been NoirLumiere, and there's your review. Good night and keep rocking!

Hi there!
Reply to all those who have commented my work. Thank you and i would like to mention that there is some problem with this colouring fonts all ... which is why i got some errors and that was not intentional too....

Alright. First of all, the colours of the words. They are very distracting. You used blue on pink on all the lines except the first and fourth one. This makes it look more out of place.

Now I'll be honest with my words. The title was catchy so was the first two lines. You use really big words. Hats off to your vocabulary but sometimes it makes the writing distant. I could not connect to your poem. The choice of words made it the poem vague and a little hard to understand.

Every line made me stop and think a little. I do not know if I like that or not. It was nice but it made me re-read your lines and again the colours distracted me and I ended up reading them again. What I liked was the last line. It lingered on my mind. Another thing I liked is the rhyme scheme. It made the poem flow nicely. Overall, the poem was different than most i have read and I really liked it. Keep writing!

Umm, I'm with K on this. The color of the words was poorly selected, and I'm not even sure why you did it that way. You might have done it for emphasis, but it just looks a little weird. It might make a little more sense if you had done the whole thing, but because you have two lines that are not blue it is really awkward.

And I love your rhyme scheme, even though it isn't constant throughout the work. I think that if you attempted to change it, you would lose the character this poem has. It might look weird to some people, but I do like it.

You made me think and analyze what you were saying to make sure that I understood the meaning, and that's very hard to find in poetry. Most of the time the authors just tell a story, or what they write is a total awesome chaotic mess of random mumbo-jumbo, but you made me think. It worked well for this poem, but I wouldn't go doing that in every poem that you right. It would become textbook that way. (In other words, boring)

All-in-all, I liked reading this a lot.

Happy Writing!
HT

Hello, K here to review your piece! I hope this is helpful!

First comment has to be on the color of the words. I literally thought something was wrong with my eyes while reading this, then noticed you had changed the color for some lines to blue. Very, very distracting, because I had to stop reading to blink a few times and that ruined the flow of your poem. If you must change the color, try something that stands out a little more. Although, I do love the blue on pink.

Next, your word choice is interesting. You use big words, although not too many, which is good. This adds to the ethos of your poetry. I do like a lot of the lines in here, for they bring up some nice thoughts.

However, this is a little hard to read, and not just because of the color. I felt like I really, really had to pay attention and think about the lines before moving on to the next one- but if that's your purpose (and in some cases it is) then you did well.

Rhyme scheme now. At first, I didn't see a rhyme scheme at all, but looking back I see there is one- just late poem. I hate to say this, but the first four lines don't rhyme. However, the rest of the rhyme scheme is really nicely done! They don't sound forced at all. And last, I love your last line. It's my favorite of the whole poem. However, since it's not part of the rhyme scheme, you should definitely consider making it separate. As in, adding a space between it and the rest of your poem.

Altogether, I really liked it! You present a nice them here and I hope you keep writing!