Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure

16+ Language Violence Mature Content

Pokemon Ultimate Evolution: Episode 14, Closing In

by dark

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

"Mom, what color was the locket?" Violet whispered.

"Black, guys. It was black" Mauve answered. Come on, we have to find it!"

"You still haven't told us why?"

"Fine! If we don't find it, Lavender's going to die! Inside of it is a key, and that key belongs to Indigo."

"Indigo?! No would never kill Lavender over a key. Besides, he wouldn't come back to us for anything!"

"Thats what you think, Violet, but you're wrong."


"Ryan, maybe we should leave. "Sato said. "They're going to come back."

"It'll be fine. Right now my only concern is keeping you away from them."

"That's what started all of this trouble in the first place. Besides they are my parents, I can't bring myself to hate them for anything they do."

I couldn't understand Sato's mind. She was constantly going on about how she couldn't hate her parents no matter what.

"I should have killed them while I had to chance."

"Ryan no!" Sato exclaimed. "Please don't hurt them."

"Sato, I know why you feel this way. They made you feel unless. They brought you to a place where no one would care about you, so that you would think that they would always be the only people you had. But that's not true."

"I know, but..." She started crying.

"It's alright, but I'm not going to let them make you continue to feel this way. I'll try my hardest to keep them alive, but it won't last for long."

Something happened to the house. A wave of some type of insane energy swept through the house and surrounded it. I feel to my knees and heled my ears in pain. The energy emitted a metallic sound that irritated my ears.

Urn... This energy. It's... So annoying.

"Ryan what the matter?" Sato cried.

"That sound. Don't you hear it?"

"I'm not hearing anything. They must be here."

The energy began to die down, the sound was fading with it. It allowed me to get to my feet and scope out the back yard. A large metal plate lay on the grass. I walked over to it and picked it up. My reflection shined in the sliver plate. My eyes were red once more. I dropped the plate on the ground. It's metallic sound hummed in my ears as it flopped on the ground. I could feel the presence of another behind me. I quickly spun around. A tall man wearing an orange leather jacket and blue jeans looked down on me.

"What are you doing here, kid?" He growled.

"I would like to ask you the same thing." I backed up to get some distance between us.

"I have someone I have to dispose of."

"Looks like we have similar occupations then." I laughed.

"This isn't a joke, kid. I don't know who you are, but I don't want to hurt you."

"As if you would try. If you don't have any real business here, I sudggest you go." I said.

"Then maybe you could help me. Do you know any one named Lavender Colourless?" He asked. She pulled a picture out of his jacket and showed it to me. "She supposedly lives here."

"Yes I do."

"Great. Take me to her, would you?"

"That's the problem. I don't know where she lives. I know it's not here though."

"Damn, they left? Well that's just great." He ran his fingers through his orange hair. "I came all the way back here for nothing."

"Mind telling me what you need her for?"

"I have something to settle with her. Just note by the time I'm done with her, she'll be dead." He was growing impatient.

I looked towards my left and right.

Something is not right here. They'll be coming soon.

Suddenly, someone struck the back of my head with the metal plate. I fell the ground. My ears throbbed as the ringing of the metal screeched through them.

"What the hell, Zoey!" The man yelled. "Why'd you do that?"

"You don't need to know. Our deal was we lead you to Lavender, while we take care of our business without you butting in." She said planting a foot into my back. "So, where're done here. I don't know what he told you but the Colourless family still lives here."

"Oh, great. That's perfect."

The man walked into the house throught the open back door and slowly krept through the house. Sato hid behind a couch in the living room and watched as he krept upstairs.

"Oh no." She whispered. "It's him."

He walked through the hallway, passed Magenta's room and up the stairs towards Lavender's room.

She was sleeping silently as he walked up to her. He gently shook her to wake her up.

"Lavender! Lavender wake up!" He whispered.

"Uhn, what?" She yawned. She rubbed her eyes. When she saw who was infront of her, she gasped and fell off the other side of the bed. "I-Indigo!" She exclaimed. "Wha-what are you doing here?!?"

"Please Lavender keep your voice down." Indigo warned. "We have to get out of here."

"But, why?"

"I promise I'll explain later. Come on, where's Violet?"

"She went somewhere with Kray, and mom, a couple days ago."

"That's fine, if they're not here they're safe."

Indigo took Lavender's hand and took her down the stairs. Zenith was coming up to the second floor with me slumped over his shoulder.

"Quickly hide in here." Indigo whispered, pointing to Magenta's room. The two krept into Magenta's room. Magenta and Jason were no where in sight. They were hiding in the closet at the back of the room. Lavender and Indigo waited in the room. Zenith passed by the door. He took me up to Lavender's room and dropped me on the ground. My ears still in pain from the metal sound. Zoey followed in behind him and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"So, what now?" Zoey asked.

"I hate to say this, but we can't kill him?"

"Well, why the hell not?!"

"Sato will be depressed for the rest of her life if we do. I'm not trying to be the cause of that."

"This isn't about her. Who cares of she's depressed?"

"I do, Zoey. She's my daughter." Zenith shoved Zoey off of him. "If you're not going to put Sato first for once in your life, I don't want anything to do with you."

"Wah? How could you say that?" Zoey gawked. "Do you not care about us anymore?"

"Like I said, all you've done is torture Sato her whole life and I'm not going to stand for it anymore!" He screamed. "You disgusting bitch. You don't care about anyone but yourself. You tried to get Indigo to kill his own sister!"

Zoey turned away from him. "Is that really how you feel?" Zenith didn't answer.

I watched the whole thing unfold. I lie on the ground pretending to be unconscious until the right moment.

I need to figure out who to attack first.

Zoey walked towards the large window that faced the backyard. She crossed her arms and stared out the window.

"What was all of this for?" She said. She started to cry. "What the hell was all of this for?"

I slowly got to my feet. Zenith walked down the stairs and left Zoey and I alone. I charged and electric ball in my palm.

"Am I really thathorrible?" She said to herself. "No, that brat I'm forced to call my daughter is the cause of all of this. If she never existed none of this would have had to happen. Ugh. I hate her. I hate her so much..."

"Just shut up." I said. "You don't deserve to live in my world." To whailed the ball towards her. It struck her right in her chest as sher spun around and blasted her through the window. She fell down into the back yard.


"Ma, the sun is almost up." Kray called out into the dark building.

"We have to find it before its all the way up. If not, then Indigo will kill Lavender. He said he would come back for the key. If he doesn't get it he's going to kill Lavender."

"I still don't believe that. There's no way our Indigo would do something like that to his own sister." Violet said. "I won't believe that."

"Whatever, Vi!" Kray yelled. "Just look for the damn locket!" Violet reluctantly squatted down to search for the locket in a corner of the building. She caught a glimpse of a shiny gold chain. She pulled it out of the grime of the floor Mauve's black locket she opened it and took the small key out of it.

"I got it!" She yelled.

"Ugh, finally!" Kray exclaimed. "Let's get outta here."

Violet, Kray, and Mauve ran back to their house. The front door was wide open.

"Oh no. They what happened here?" Mauve said with a worried look. She ran into the house went strait to Magenta's room. "What the-- Indigo?"

"Calm down. I'm not going to kill Lavender." He said holding hands up in surrender.

"Then-then why are you here?"

"The Sanna's are after some boy that was here. I don't know where he is but I wanted to make sure everyone was okay."

"They were here!?" Mauve screamed. She ran to the open back to the open back door. She saw Sato next to her mother on the ground. I stood in the doorway staring at her.

"Sato, if you try and save her, you won't be helping anyone!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry, but she's my mother. I can't just leave her here." She cried. Sato teleported away with Zoey.

"What happened here, Ryan?" Mauve asked.

"They came for me. Don't worry, Magenta is okay."

I walked to Magenta's room. Indigo stood in the hallway with Lavender by his side.

"Hey kid. My name's Indigo if you were wondering."

"I know who you are, and I don't care."

I walked to the closet in Magenta's room and opened the door.

"Ryan!" Magenta exclaimed. She jumped up and hugged me. Jason was standing next to her.

"It's good to see that you tow are alright." I said. I looked down at Magenta. "I have to go okay?"

Her smiled withered away and her eyes started to water.

"Why?" She cried. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm sorry but I have to for you family's sake."

"Oh, okay." She whipped her tears off her face. "Will you come back?"

"Of course I will."

I walked out of the room with Jason in my arms. Before I got out of the door, he pointed to the base with the purple rose in it.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I grabbed to vase and speedily ran out of the house, and back to the Devon building. I ran into my room and set shut the door behind me. I placed the vase on a desk and turned on the desk lamp to give it some light. I filled the vase with fresh water and flopped on my bed. Jason hopped onto my chest and stared at me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked him. He blinked and jumped onto Violet's bed. He made a soft sound that resembled a yawn and closed his eyes.

Later, Violet stormed into the room and slammed the door.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked.

"I thought I would want to see Indigo after all these years. He said he was only trying to protect us by telling my mom that he was going to kill Lavender if she didn't give him his key that he left." She said angrily. "I don't believe it."

"Aren't you happy to see him?"

"Ryan, of course I am. But he didn't have to do all of that. And now Indigois gonna try and kill Sato."

"We'll you know what happens if he tries to..."

"What? Are you gonna kill him?"

"Most likey, yes. But if you advise against it-"

"Of course I do!" She screamed.

"Violet keep your voice down. I already have enough of a headache."

"Sorry, but I don't think he'll go through with it once I explain the situation to him."

"Good, the only person I want to kill right now is Zoey Sanna."

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
1313 Reviews

Points: 23286
Reviews: 1313

Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:01 am
Hannah wrote a review...

Oh my gosh, what?! That's so strange.
If Sato, the person Ryan is supposedly committed to, doesn't want him to kill her mother, he'll do it anyway, but if Violet, someone he's not committed to, says her brother might kill Sato, Ryan asks Violet if that's okay? Something doesn't make sense to me in all of that...

Well, okay. Lots of things don't make sense to me. What is this key and why'd mom put it in the locket in the first place? I didn't understand if Indigo was led to the Colourless house by Sato's parents or not, and if they just happened to also want to get Ryan? Having two motivations was really confusing! If you could slow down some and explain the situation step by step, not necessarily through dialogue, I'm sure your readers would be very happy to understand what's going on. Of course you don't have to reveal everything about the plot, but basically all I got from this chapter was that Indigo and the parents showed up at the same time, and Indigo got Lavender and the parents hit Ryan.

I'd also like to see Sato's mom more clearly developed. Why does her husband so suddenly despise her? What is the thing that pushed him over the edge to hating her? Was it a look in her eyes she'd never had before? Words she used she'd never said before? What was new this time that made him want to leave her?

Lots of questions! Take your time in editing to make sure the second draft of this season is clear so we can read it easily and enjoy it. :)

User avatar
41 Reviews

Points: 2173
Reviews: 41

Thu Jul 11, 2013 7:36 pm
TwinkleStar wrote a review...

I'm sorry it took so long. I've been caught up with things. And anyway, onto the review. I really liked the suspense that's been built in this chapter, it was so interesting, you held onto the suspense until the very end. I like how you describe the action parts. Part of me felt afraid of Ryan getting hurt or something but once again, he was acting the whole time, pretending to be unconscious. It was a good tactic though. And I got to know of his weakness... sort of. It was strange how only he could hear the metallic sound and it affected him so much.

So overall, I understand a little bit more about the locket and why Mauve went to search for it. What I still don't understand is Indigo's intentions, and what does that locket mean to him? And the little confusion that I find is that

Mauve left to search for the locket and asked Ryan to watch over the house.
The real cause of her searching was actually because of Indigo's threat.
Indigo's real cause for threatening was because he wanted to protect his family from Zoey and zenith who wanted to kill Ryan. Zoey and Zenith asked for Indigo's help? the events are a little bit rushed, some info seems missing or is confusing. I hope I got it right though.

You did really great but this is the first time the Indigo guy is introduced. And he comes with this great chunk of mystery to him which intrigues me more and makes me want to read a little bit about him so I can relate to him, picture him better. A good way to do that is every now or then, give us readers and insight about the past. Like who is this person, how he ended up separating from the family.

In the end, gosh I've said too much, but it felt good to read it. I'm even more excited about the next chapter. =]

Random avatar

Points: 300
Reviews: 0

Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:31 am
Avidia wrote a review...

Since my last post didn't count as a review I need to do this again. I think the plot is developing well. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next episode :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

jordin says...

Really no offense here my friend but if you want it to count you have to try a little harder to help not doing it for yourself.

All I got was "I think the plot is developing well." not that this is a big problem. :D

Random avatar

Points: 300
Reviews: 0

Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:21 am
Avidia says...

It's good as usual. You did the personalities well. Great job.

User avatar
213 Reviews

Points: 150
Reviews: 213

Fri Jul 05, 2013 2:57 am
dark says...

Pugh, go ahead and review..

I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones.
— John Cage