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16+ Language Violence Mature Content

Pokemon Ultimate Evolution: Episode 8, Storming Rustboro

by dark

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Violet was walking home at night. Rustboro City was pitch black. No street lamps shone brightly like they usually do, no light squeezed though the windows of the condominium rooms. Nothing. The only sound was the soft click of Violet's sneakers as she walked though the night. Suddenly a street lamp flickered on and Elec Buzz jumped out from the surrounding darkness and pinned her to a wall.
"What the hell are you doing, Elec?" Violet yelled.
"You think I would let a hot piece of ass like you escape my grasp?" He said with a wicked smile.
"Seriously what you want? Yes I'm hot, I'm beautiful. I got over that when I was two. Who the hell cares?"
"Yeah sure you did." Violet turned around as to not look at him and Elec wrapped him arms around her chest. "Where's Ryan, hottie? I know you were talking to him today."
"Get off me!" She demanded. Elec didn't budge. She groaned at his persistence. "I don't know, okay. Yeah, I talked to him, but I don't know where he's staying. And he didn't ask me for my number or where I'm staying either. Why do you want him?"
"Daamn." He said in shock. "He not interested in you??????? He's nosy, and insane."
"Ryan is not nosy, Elec. I know what happened. He was just cares about Sato. You had no reason to attack her like that. Since you did, you and your boys got your asses beat by him. Is that why you want to know where he is?" She asked slipping out of his arms.
"Whatever. You really are no help to me. The only thing you ever do for me is look hot." He answered walking away.
"Ugh, I'm gonna kill him."
I shot a spark out of my finger and turned the lamp on whie I was reading about Sato's species, the Pokemon called Ralts. I didn't need the light to see the words because I had very good eyesight, but I needed it to let anyone outside know that I was awake. The book said that Ralts were the feeling Pokemon, and they loved the company of others. Probably because they are lonley most of the time. Suddenly I sensed someone outside my tent. I heard the soft tap of sneakers, the same sound that Violet's sneakers made. I closed the book and set it down with the others. I listened closely before Violet stormed into the tent with Sato behind her.
"Well of it isn't you two. What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Trying to get out of the rain, silly." She panted. "Who knew you would be living here. I thought this tent was empty. I didn't realized the light ment someone was here."
"Hi Ryan." Sato said walking in slowly.
"Hello Sato." I answered. "You girls look tired. What were you doing, running for your lives?"
"I see you have developed a sense of humor, Ry-Ry. That's what I love about you."
"We have only known each other for less than a day, Violet. Please, settle down." I said. "I would give you a towel to dry yourselves off, but I don't have anything like that. Wait hold on." I closed my eyes and cupped my hands. The hands released sparks of electricity and heated up. The sparks formed a large black towel for Violet and a smaller one for Sato. "Here." I said handing them the warm towels.
"How did you do that?" Violet asked while dry her hair off. "You have some special power or something?"
"It's materialization, Violet. That's my first time doing that. Don't worry, even though those towels are made of electricity, they won't shock you."
"Wow, that's amazing!" Sato exclaimed. "Most people can't do that until they are a lot older than us."
Sato and violet handed me the towels and I them turned back into electricity and absorbed it back into my hands. Thunder roared in the sky, frightening Sato.
"Sato don't worry, it's just a loud sound." Violet said.
"I know, but I have always feared that some crazy, lunatic, thunder Pokemon is in the sky and waiting to hurt someone." She said looking outside. "I don't believe, it everyone is really left. There was an evcacution earlier. Hey, Ryan, why didn't you go too?"
"I heard about the storm so I stayed. The lightning interest me. I have never seen a storm in person you know."
"Whatever. You mind if we stay here until the storm dies down?" Violet asked. "My family left without me and so did Sato's."
"Sure, I actually wanted some company anyway."
I picked up another book about electricity and turned the light off. Violet lie down with her back to me. She pulled her black phone, that had a picture of a purple sneaker on it, out of her poket and flipped it open. Jason poked his head out of my bag and glided towards Sato. She scooped him up in her arms and lie down against my chest. She turned around and kissed me. "I love you, Ryan." She said softly.
"You know, if you're gonna go ahead and do that, get a room or something." Violet said in a sassy tone.
"Oh Violet," I said. "Shut up before I kill you."
"Damn, Ryan, sorry."
"In the morning the storm got worse. The sky was grey and full of thunder & lightning. The harsh winds knocked the tent back and fourth. The steel stakes that held it into the ground were coming loose.
"I think we better head inside." I said. "This tent's not going to last out here."
"Yeah good idea, lets go!" Violet yelled. She and Sato ran inside. I looked up and let the rain splash on my face. Every time the lightning struck, it came closer and closer to me, like I was a faulty lightning rod just waiting to be electrocuted. It finally struck me. It didn't hurt me or set me on fire of do anything bad to my body. I absorbed the electricity and pumped it into my blood. My body heated up more and more, to the point where the rain on me would evaporate. Then suddenly, it stopped. The tent blew away in the wind, my body started to cool down, then the storm continued as usual. I walked into the Devon building and walked up the stairs to a hallway with a red velvet carpet and walls. Violet was turning the knobs of all the doors to find and open room that was unoccupied before hand.

"Found one!" She exclaimed. "It's definetly empty. Make yourselves at home I guess." She walked to a window at the end of the hall, opened it rested her elbows one the windowsill with her hands on her cheeks and she stared into the storm. She started to cry and hide her tears, knowing I was behind her.

"Go away. I need to be alone, Ryan."

"Im not about to leave a girl like you to by yourself. That wouldn't be very gentleman like of me." I said. "You're my guest now, you can tell what's wrong. Besides you might jump out the window if you're that unhappy."

"Ryan, the only way to die is to be killed by someone else. I can't kill myself. And what's with this gentleman crap? We're only nine."

"Something I read about. Being polite to women like yourself. To tell the truth I'm not going to follow that book, but it doesn't mean I'll just abandon you. Even if you can't kill yourself, you can still hurt yourself." I said placing my arms around her to take her attention off of the storm. "Please, tell me what's wrong."

"Okay you gotten my attention, but don't let go of me. It feels nice." She said with a small smile while whipping her teram off. She turned around and looked into my eyes. "Anyways. Storms remind me of Indigo, my oldest brother. Really I'm the oldest, but he seems a lot older. He used to take care of me. My selfish family drove him away. During a storm is when he left."

Jason poked his head out of my bag and jumped onto Violets shoulder to get a view of the storm's wrath.

"Hmm. Heart warming." I said mockingly.

"Shut up you jerk!" She laughed. "You really are evil. I like you a lot though."

"Yes, yes I know." The skin of her belly felt very soft. It soothed me. I let her go and walked into the open room where Sato lay asleep on one of two bed inside. I lie down next to her and kissed her. She opened her eyes and smiled at me. Violet walked in and jumped on the other bed with Jason in her hands. She fell asleep with Jason sleeping on her chest, curled up in a white, furry ball. Even though Jason was a dragon, he had soft while fur instead of scales like I did.

The storm continued all day, thrashing Rustboro City in a constant rage. I heard a noise that sounded like the quietest spark ever. Almost as quiet as a Voltorb rolling on the smoothest concrete. I got up and checked the hallway. Nothing. Suddenly Elec tackled me and tried to pin me down to the floor. I threw him over my head and through the window. I speedily ran down stairs and outside into the rain.

"Oh it's you again." I said with a wicked smile. "You want revenge kid?"

"Shut up Sparker! He yelled. "You stuck your nose into my busyness! I told you what would happen if you did."

"Let me think... Oh right I remeber. Absolutely nothing. You cannot beat me in any type of battle. Set your rage aside and just go already!" I yelled back.

He charged electricity in his fist and charged at me. I dodged his attack and kicked him away like I did before. He held his hands up and controlled the storm lightning surged around him and he charged at me again, with more speed then before. I punched him to the ground and held him down with my foot. "You are wasting your time."

"And you're so damn annoying!" He shot lightning at me and threw pieces of the ground at me with his mind. "Why won't you just die already!?"

"Heh, you can't kill me with attacks like that. You're useless, Elec. You. Are. Useless." I said. I materialized a knife in my hands. I charged at him and stabbed him through his chest. "This, is Your Eternal Reward. Now die!" I twisted the knife and kicked him to the ground. I absorbed the knife and slowly walked back inside, his body slump on the ground. The rain mixed with his electric like blood and his body vanished before my eyes. "HA! He's put of my way, and out of sight!"

I ran back inside and went back stairs. I focused my mind and heated up my body so that my wet cloths would dry off. I lie next to Sato and my body cooled down.

That was fun. The most fun I have ever had. But I trust I'll be seeing Elec Buzz again...

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286 Reviews

Points: 16319
Reviews: 286

Fri Dec 19, 2014 8:50 am
AstralHunter wrote a review...


Okay... murder in the second degree, but murder nevertheless - yikes. What happened to the Legendary Dragon (though almost all dragons are Llegends, mind you) that is supposed to be the personification of ideals? I myself am an Idealist, but in an ideal world, people would be shown mercy. To be honest, Ryan is behaving more like how I would have expected Jason to. Moreover, no Pokémon (save for Dark or Ghost types, of course) should actually enjoy killing another Pokémon, yet Ryan does. *is appalled* Unfortunately, the strangeness of this chapter/episode does not end there...

I wouldn't describe Violet's actions and general behaviour as very realistic. First, she tries to act tough when facing Elec, then she tries to seduce Ryan again, and finally she... cries? I understand she misses her brother, but you don't start crying just because of a storm. I can see that you have a certain idea for what her pesonality should be like, but that idea has been lost in the transferrence from mind to paper.

So, from what I have deduced, Violet should only have been mildly upset, but if you want to keep the crying, then she should have stopped the moment Ryan entered the room as well, or she should have pretended to need his comfort, and then try to seduce him while he's hugging her.

Oh, and in response to Violet's uncharacteristic breakdown, Ryan's reaction is also peculiar. Lisa Perry forced herself on him, and look at his attitude towards her, but it's alright for Violet to do so? And he was prepared to kill Elec (which he now actually did) when he first saw him bully Sato, yet he so readily mocks Violet when she is obviously at her most vulnerable. I am starting to think of Ryan as a hypocrite.

In conclusion, this chapter/episode has been very revealing. Very. However, I am not sure if these are the characters' true personalities which are only now becoming obvious, or if you depicted the characters differently from how you had intended. Either way, I think you should distribute your characterisation more evenly throughout the fanfiction, since Ryan's behaviour has been a shock to everyone who has reviewed this chapter/episode.

This review courtesy of

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7 Reviews

Points: 962
Reviews: 7

Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:16 am
Krystal6 says...

Im scared pokemon never had this much cussing. You do a great job of writing but pokemon us much more clean then this. Is this based of a real episode cause it sure doesnt seem like it. Well I enjoy your writing as much as my favorite books so thumbs up I guess!

dark says...

No, I assure nothing like this ever happened in the actual anime. But I wish something similar did, because even the episodes in Japan that Americans aren't able to view were not as graphic as this. This wasn't horrifying to me that's why horror wasn't one of the genres

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1313 Reviews

Points: 23286
Reviews: 1313

Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:04 am
Hannah wrote a review...

I'm so creeped out and I don't know how to feel about any of this chapter. I understand that you want to twist the pokemon story so that it's "not for kids" anymore, but is the way to do that to make heartless, nearly unbelievably mean or one-dimensional characters? I don't think so. I think you need to have a look at the characters more closely if you want to make them believable to your readers.

Elec, for example, is just pure evil. But is there anyone purely evil in the world? And do they attend public school and are they nine years old? I don't think so?? I think a lot of people would agree that villains with a little bit of humanity end up being the WORST. If we believe that the villain could actually be a person, and is not just a one-sided figure to be "bad" for a story, we feel worse. We feel like he could be in our lives right now. The villain gets stuck in our heart and we fear him or her more deeply.

The way to discover something human about Elec would maybe be to think about what he wants like he's any of your friends. For example, my best friend right now wants to finish up school and find her next path to go down by meeting as many people as possible. My dad wants a place to live and a new body. What does Elec want to accomplish? Not just "omg he wants Violet because she's so~*~~* hot", but something he'd want even if he knew none of the other characters.

I'd recommend doing the same thought process for Violet, Ryan, and Sato. What do they want? Who are they if they are people in your REAL life? Who are they most like? Your best friends? You? Give them human elements and we can really welcome them into our hearts. :)

Good luck, and I'lll see you on part nine!

dark says...

Well, the school's teacher wasn't there gets son schools don't start yet but yes, Elec did attended school. Of course because Ryan's world has no laws, they are not forced to go to the schools or anything like that, even though the teacher is there yet. Oh, and Ryan is pure evil. He just doesn't have anything that's worth his time to show it.

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241 Reviews

Points: 286
Reviews: 241

Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:03 pm
Jonathan wrote a review...

Hello again dark here to review your great works. I am hoping that in some way this small insignificant review will give you the help to improve your book. :)

I like it before I read it. :P

dark wrote:I shot a spark out of my finger and turned on the lamp whie I was reading about Sato's species,
Well there you go again this I think is supposed to mean.

Jordin wrote:I shot a spark off of my finger and turned the lamp off, while I was reading about Sato's species,

dark wrote:Was were you doing,
jordin wrote:what were you doing.
smalll problem but I still love it.

First I think he is a little to nasty.

Plot:Hmm well I think I might have a slight idea of what you are going to do.Awesome.

Grammar:There were only a few problems.Good.

Spelling:Only two mistakes that I could see.Good.

Punctuation:No problems that I could seeAwesome!

Overall contents:Good although this was not as good as the last ones because you where in third person in the beginning of the chapter then back to first person.Great!

Keep writing and good luck. :D

Your faithful fan. :)

~Jonathan~ :pirate3:

dark says...

I try to keep the nastiness to a minimum during this season, (Yes there will be a lot more) but of course Ryan has moments that I just can't change. My little nine year old's murder will add a little twist in a future season. Also you'll see a lot of the shifting from third person to first person a lot. I started like that on Episode 5, I think where I started withSato speaking with her mother. I'll try and improve on that some more. I didn't think there would be a way to improve it any more but ill look into it before I write Episode 9. Thanks from the review! I'm trying to put one out every two days or so because I have more time now. I hope you like them.

jordin says...

I love all your work dark.

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213 Reviews

Points: 150
Reviews: 213

Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:18 pm
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dark says...

Leave a like or a review if you like it!
Can you identify a plot yet? I hope not... You must wait! Wait until episode 10-15

Be steadfast as a tower that doth not bend its stately summit to the tempest’s shock.
— Dante Alighieri