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18+ Mature Content

Pokemon Ultimate Evolution: Episode 7, A Crazy Little Colour

by dark


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.

I went with Jason in my arms to look for more Sitrus berries for him to eat. Since I woke up this morning, he has been making sounds that told me he was starving for more.
No sign of them anywhere. I hope Jason likes bread because that's all I have until I find more of those berries.
"Wait...." I said sensing another presence near me. "Sato it's only me."
"Huh? How did you know I was hear?" She said nervously. "I didn't make a sound."
"I sensed you somehow. Also I can hear you breathing. What are you doing here?"
"We'll," she said looking down. "I sensed that you would want more of the berries I gave you, so I waited for you here. Um, are you mad about what I did yesterday?"
I remembered that Sato had suddenly kissed me yesterday. "Oh that?! Of course not! It was, well, nice." I knelt down an kissed one of two red horns that she, and every Ralts had on their heads. "Just thought I would return the favor."
"Yo! Sato, where'd you go?!" Someone yelled.
"Im over here!" Sato yelled back. A girl that looked around my age came up behind me and wrapped herself around me, holding my wrist in her's.
"Wow, who's this cute little piece of cheese you got here? She said in a suductive voice. This must be Ryan. He looks exactly like you told me. The hair, the clothes every detail is the same. It must be him because you look like you're gonna melt sooner or later."
Sato's cheeks turned bright red and she pulled her "head" or hat over her eyes. "Um yeah about that..." She sheepishly whispered. "Ryan, this is Violet Colourless."
"There's a "U" in color got it?"
"Yes, will you let go of me?" I said annoyed.
"A girl would be insane to let go of something like you." She said gripping me tighter.
"Fine."
I teleported out of her arms and appeared behind her. She was leaning against me so much that she fell right to the ground after I disappeared. When I looked at her I saw she was about my age. She was wearing Violet shoes, extremely small, tight violet shorts, and a shirt, or what could have been a shirt, that only covered her chest.
"Ugh, you're a rough one." She said getting up. She ran her hands down my arms and pushed them to my sides. "You, you would be the perfect fit for me, if you know what I mean." She leaned closer to me and whipered in my ear. "Would you have sex with me, Ryan? It would be perfect, for the both of us."
"Violet!" Sato exclaimed. How could you ask some one that age to do some thing so... What's the matter with you?"
"Oh, Sato you heard that?" She asked mocking her.
"Im a psychic Pokemon, I can hear almost anything. Really that's so disgusting of you."
"Well hear this, Sato. I don't care what you think." Violet said sharply. Sato backed off. "I'm sorry you feel that way but... This doesn't concern you. So, will you Ryan?"
"No." I said calmly, "I'm only nine."
"So am I!" She yelled. Things have to be done sooner or later! What better time than now!? She seemed to really want to do this like her life depended on it.
"Violet, that's just... Not right. Not to me. Maybe, in nine years, but theres no way I'm doing something like that now."
She sighed. "I understand. But I'm holding you to that promise."
"I didn't promise anything, you crazy little color. I said maybe. Besides, there someone in this world who I need to spend more time with." I said looking at Sato who still wouldn't show her eyes.
"Hmm, I like you. You're an extremely evil person. I can see it in those black eyes of yours." She said looking into my eyes. I then saw the violet color of hers. "But on the outside, you're a nicer person than Sato told me. Bye."
She walked away with a hot shake to her hips that most boys would try and kill me for. "Sato, you okay? Why are you so sad?" I said uncontrollably smiling at her pain and laughing at her in my mind.
"I'm not sad. I'm crying because you care so much about me. Why? Why do you care?"
I thought about that for a while. Why do I care? Why do I care so much about her? I have no clue. "Sato I... I don't know..."
Without a word, Sato handed me another box of Sitrus berries and sat on a nearby bench. "I don't know either. Ryan, can I be alone for a while? Please I need to think."
"Okay, but if you need me, I'll be at the tent in the back garden of the devon building."
I left her to sit alone and gave Jason some of the berries.
"Yeah, Jason's a fire type Mr. Devon." I said to Mr. Devon. "Last night he sneezed embers."
"That's awesome! At least now we know more about him." He answered. "By the way call me Burrow."
"Thats kind of an odd name for a fire type don't you think?"
"Im not a fire type!" He exclaimed. "Did Lisa tell you that? She seems to think that just because I love hot places, that I'm a fire type. He very loony, I tell you. Even her sister that runs the school thinks that. I'm really a ground type Pokemon called Sandslash." That explained why he only wore brown.
"Another thing, how come some Pokemon have forms like mine and yours, while others have their regular Pokemon forms?" I asked.
Some used to say that there was a man who these forms for people. That was proven to be untrue. Really, people with enough power seem to be able to shift between these forms, which vary from person to person. People of the same species of Pokemon will look th same in there Pokemon forms, but every human form is different."
"Whats a human?"
"That's the name the people have given those forms. Why human? I have no idea" He said scratching his head.
I was about to leave before he stopped me. "Ryan if you see Lisa, tell her, she's been fired. I thought about what she did to you, and it's unacceptable. Tell her I don't want to see her again. She's welcome to visit but I want nothing to do with her."
"Sure thing."
On the bottom floor, Lisa Perry sat at her desk. I told her what Burrow wanted me to tell her. "Uh, Lisa. Burrow, said, well. You're fired."
"What?!" She exclaimed with a "You-Must-Be-Joking" look
"I don't joke around Lisa. You have to leave. He says you can visit, but he doesn't want to look at you again. Well, what are you waiting for. Leave."
"Oh! No!" She yelled. "I can't be fired! I have nowhere to go!"
"Not my problem, Lisa. Burrow is your employer, so you do what he says. Now," I said pointing to the exit. "Go!"
She got up and ran into her room. Within minutes, the door to her room flew open and she came out with her t-shirt and shorts on. She transformed into a Swellow and flew out the exit.
"Good ridence, Jason." I said. "You wouldn't have been fond of her."


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Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:23 pm
AstralHunter wrote a review...



Salutations.

Hmm, patience really is a virtue. Not one, but both of the questions I had asked in the previous review has been answered.

1. Do your Pokémon only eat the berries, or do they have other food sources as well?

If they have bread, then they probably have other foods as well (I assume cheese being one of them, since it's been mentioned), although what I would really like to know now is whether the Pokémon eat meat. In any world in which there is Pokémon, there is only Pokémon, so if you eat meat, then you are eating another Pokémon. That always raises the problem of cannibalism - if a lion, a rat, a zebra, an elephant and a pigeon live together, is it wrong for the lion to eat the zebra?

2. When do the Pokémon decide to be in their natural form, and when do they change to their human form?

Yay! This is the question I had wanted you to answer the most, and now you have. It makes sense that the powerful Pokémon can shift between their human and Pokémon forms, but that now leads to another question: when is a Pokémon powerful enough to change? It's obvious why Ryan can change, but why can Lisa Perry? Is it because she is an Evolved Pokémon?

It seems the more questions are answered, the more questions there arise. I shall spare you further queries and continue with the review.

So, Sato could sense Ryan wanted more berries, eh? Sensed, or hoped? Either way, she strikes me as a very thoughtful character. That having been said, I find it strange that so many people reportedly pick on her. Generally, nice people tend to be well-liked.

Clearly, Violet is going to feature prominently in the chapters/episodes to come (the titles give the story away, but there are other indicators as well), though I cannot say I like her too much. Why is everyone so hell-bent on having sexual intercourse with Ryan? I don't recall you describing him as very handsome (in fact, I don't think you have described his face or build at all), so what is it? Is it because he is a dragon? Because he is neigh-deity? Because they find the colour black attractive? Goodness...

I find Violet's name ironic - purple can symbolise a great many things, and apparently, sexual frustration is one of them. However, I still think she is course and inconsiderate; if she knows Sato is in love with Ryan, why would she ask him to bed her, and in front of Sato no less!

My final objection is with the way Burrow Devon treated Lisa Perry's dismissal. Yes, I am happy she has been fired - I would have fired her the moment I discovered her on Ryan - but you don't send someone else to tell a person that. You do that yourself, unless the word "courtesy" is not in your vocabulary.

So, while these are the main issues, I should also point out the amount of spelling and language errors in your chapters/episodes. The only reason I don't point them out is because I know you aren't going to edit these chapters and because you said they are for reference. I hope your spelling and grammar gets better during the next two series.

Despite this review being mostly criticism, I enjoy your work - the fact that I am still here ought to illustrate that clearly enough! ;)

This review courtesy of
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Sun Jun 30, 2013 1:58 am
Hannah wrote a review...



Here we go~~~

"Would you have sex with me, Ryan? It would be perfect, for the both of us."


AHHHHHHH. Like I said earlier, it is really odd to have sex as a subject come in so suddenly and frankly. Half the time I'm reading a story about a kid and the other half, these kids are asking each other for sex. In a pokemon world, how do they even know about sex? I could probably go along with this idea if you mentioned and laid out your ideas about pokemon, breeding, and sexual maturity. But all I have to go off is human sexual maturity, which makes age nine something unbelievable for me. I can't believe Violet would say this to Ryan, much less really know what she means.

To be honest, this section just feels like it was written out of boredom, not plot progression. Try to keep these brutal moments more subtle and they might be more palatable in the grand scheme of things?


What's more interesting and fulfilling for me is the fact that Violet thinks Ryan is evil. I really like that triangle that you've got going on. Ryan is kind and sweet to the kind and sweet Ralts, but Ryan is evil to the pokemon birds he beat up earlier and Violet somehow knows it just by looking at his eyes. So even though Ryan hates Violet for the way she approaches him, she maybe knows him better than Sato? It sets the story up for a battle of ethics. What's more important in Ryan's personality? His evil or his good? In this way, I like Violet as a character, just not in the weird gratuitous way you've presented her so far. :c

Off to part eight~ Hopefully these reviews are being helpful! :)




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Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:44 pm
dark says...



Don't worry your keyboards people. Ryan is too smart to do something like that at his age.




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Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:06 pm
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Jonathan wrote a review...



Hello dark. Jordin here with a review for you (I will review all of you work I love your work.) I hope it helps.

Dark wrote:I knelt down an kissed one of two red horns that all she
This was written wrong the last little bit it did not make sense.

Dark wrote:you care you much about me
You care you much about me? ay well that sounds strange I think you mean You care to much about me.

Grammar:There were only two problems that I could see.Medium.

Punctuation:I think you put to much in this piece.Good.

Spelling:No problems!Great.

Overall Contents:As usual it was good.Good.

Keep writing and good luck.

~Jon~ :pirate3:




dark says...


Nothing a little editing can't fix! :
I'm glad you like it!




To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it.
— Olin Miller