Pasting stickers,
On pockets,
With the wrong names,
And no credentials.
Just the same.
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Hey there! Scarlet here to review!
I was sort of disappointed it was so short but it got the message out otherwise.
I do believe it sends out a good message and it gives a nice impact. Overall it's decently good but because it's so short it takes down the rating a bit.
If I had to rate it 1-10 it would be a 5 1/2 originally if it had more that would raise it. I feel it could've gone on a bit more but maybe next time work on that.
My thought on it:
Like I have said I love the message it gives. Everyone is equal no matter what label you wear. No matter what skin color, race, age, gender ect.
It's meaningful and it has a certain beauty.
Really nice job.
Thumbs Up!
Sincerely, @ScarletDreams14; Member of Salsa Verde
Writer, Artist, Student and Reader
Hey, Yo, AEChronicle/JayeCShore! Strange here on this fantastic Review Day and I have a review for you!
I never quite knew you hit in the feels. Just kidding, but this is a good statement about society. It's short and blunt, but yet packs a lot. Though it does feel somewhat of an overused idea. Yes, we all have labels, yadda yadda yadda. I'm sorry if this review is short, but there's not that much to this poem. I mean it's short, I already addressed the main issue on this poem. We all have seen this idea before, this was simple, sweet, and blunt. You attempted to get into the feels, you didn't. Yeah, sorry for being a party pooper.
Overall, good job.
Strange gives you...
7.6/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.
#TheFaultInOurReviews
Hey there Jaye!
I always find it hard to review short poems, so I hope this will be worth your time. Either way, I did really like this poem. It's short yet meaningful in as well.
I feel like it's about how everyone is just the same and it doesn't matter if you get their label mixed up or not. Who cares? Everyone is just doing the same thing in the same way in the end, because we are all becoming copies of each other. And the stickers are because you can have this type of person and this type of person, like we can all fit into cliques, but there isn't really a great difference between them as well. This is at least the way I interpreted it. And I wouldn't want this to be any longer either, because it brings across it's message perfectly with the limited amount of lines.
Those first two lines really don't need any commas at the end of them at all because they are all in the same sentence. If you took away the layout and wrote them in a sentence, would you use the commas? No? Then they shouldn't be here in the poem either
I didn't like this line. I would rather it was replaced with something else because I do think there should be a connecting line between the first sentence and the last one which kind of summarises it all. I didn't like this line because I thought it seemed a bit out of place and in a poem of carefully chosen words it just didn't seem to fit when I read it. Maybe mention something about how thee pocket have been worn down, or how it has so many others like it, or something else to show that we are all a copy of each other. Without the use of credentials? Another person might love this line though, so really it is completely up to you and what you choose to do.
I <3 that last line. Perfect, just perfect. Keep up the awesome poetry
Deanie x
You really don't need a comma after the first or second line. If you're going by grammar, I'd take them out but if you're putting them in to create a pause to better the flow of the poem (there's a fancy name for that I learned but don't remember), by all means leave them in.
I don't understand why the stickers are being pasted on pockets. Usually nametags like the type I think (I could be wrong here on interpretation) you're trying to emulate are put on shirts and unless everyone's wearing those shirts with the pockets, it doesn't make complete sense. If you put "On shirt pockets" it would add clarity and wouldn't make the line too much longer.
I also like that the title makes the reader think it's going to be about mean labels we give people like "fat" or "dumb". Then when reading it the reader can see that familiar task of putting name stickers on their shirts. The last three lines are really deep though. Are you saying their name has no credentials, their job title, or the figurative label we give to them? And the last line "Just the same" shows that this cycle of labels/names keeps going forever and it's all "just the same"...
Great poem, really for 5 short lines, I think I'll be left thinking about this poem and it's meaning for a while after. Please PM or reply with what your intent and meaning really is with this poem. I'm curious to know what you were thinking when writing it. Thanks for posting, and good luck in the rest of your writing!
~alliyah