The Prince Who Charmed Himself

Dillbert here and I have another quick review for you! I can't seem to help it, but I have to admit, you are a great poet. That "front stage, theater lights" or whatever was great. This was a good poem. I seriously had no problems with it. Your line breaks are nice, and it really flowed. The fairy tale setting is great, and it was really simple. I love simpleness in poems
Dillbert, out

Hey, yo, AEChronicle/JayeCShore! Strange here on this fantastic Review Day and I have a review for you!
You basically already know what I think of some of this poem, but let me clear it up. I liked this poem. I thought it was clever, but had some small problems. Let me get onto the good stuff, first. I like the quirkiness and fairy tale-esque story telling in this, with the most insane plot twist of all time. You kept it simple and silly, but you had silly in a formal way. You didn't go over the top, but you kept it like a soft and sweet fairy tale. It is told very subtle, and you don't rely on bluntness to acquire laughs from the reader. This did make me smile, but not laugh hard or really laugh out loud. It just made me smile.
Quick random note, but I don't like your poem formatting for some reason.
I feel this is slightly too kiddish for my tasting, but it doesn't harm my thought of the poem at all. It was a pretty good poem that made me smile. I understand this and "Hater's Gonna Hate" is your "Twerk", but for some reason, this is actually enjoyable. It is simple, kind of long (I mostly prefer short stuff) but it was good. Good job AE! I need to review more of your works after this
Overall, good job.
7.8/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.

#TheFaultInOurReviews
#DonaldTrump
#ChildernAreAnimals

XD Bro I love this! Thank you so much for sharing!

HAHA! This is hilarious! He is stuck up!

''But be ye not afraid,'' It should be 'But ye be not afraid.'
Sorry noticed that and it was mentally annoying...
Other then that i really liked. I liked how you used all the description. Normally in poetry I dislike when authors repeat a whole stanza but here I really liked it. Good job and keep writing! -Micky

So I saw this and Lolled. It's really quite poignant.

'I am dashing I am brave!

All the damsels I will save.

With mighty sword in hand,

I liberate all the lands.' the piece has a very youthful feel to it, which is complementary of the topic you are dealing with and suits your point well me thinks.

The ending of the work, I might add, avoids being sad, because you deal with the whole thing in such high spirits.

Having read the previous reviews, I don't feel there is a lot more to say on this piece, other than the fact that it's a fun read and you definitely do more pieces in this style. Good job. Well done.

I feel like this poem has a wonderful idea and might say a lot about society (if you apply it to modern narcissism). I enjoyed the ending - "May he Rest in Peace." It was an interesting take on the fairy tale/prince idea certainly, and for the man to meet his death by his own hand was... well, quite a good idea!

However, I do have some suggested revisions for you. I noticed at times that you were trying far too hard to make it rhyme, which disrupted the flow and the message of the poem. It's certainly not necessary for a poem to rhyme and I would encourage you to try a non-rhyming poem, outside of the aabb rhyme scheme you use in much of your poetry. Of course, that's your own choice, but it's always fun to try new things! Anyway, when you put too much stress on rhyming, your words begin to sound stilted instead of reading well. And example of this is "I woo princesses fair, / With soft and bouncy hair". Rather than creating imagery of a pretty princess, the reader gets stuck on the awkward rhyming. Considering the character you've described, it's not likely he would get caught on 'soft and bouncy hair' - ergo, it's obvious you've just used the line to make sure it rhymes. Once again, stress less about the rhymes and worry more about your message/content.

Also, your rhythm is occasionally disrupted by mismatched couplets. While the ending words rhyme, the lines contain different syllables, which makes reading it very awkward. Also, it feels like you've missed a word or two in some places. "And on the folk did feast." and "I liberate all the lands." read in a very jilted manner to me. I would suggest rephrasing them (once again not focused so much on the rhyming) with consideration towards number of syllables and words required to get the actual message across (you don't want a reader stuck in confusion on a simple line like 'And on the folk did feast' when they could be paying attention to your greater message).

Lastly I would suggest ridding the poem of " - Two days later - ", to be replaced by something else (ellipses, perhaps?). It disrupts the reading of the poem and takes away from the effect of the Prince's death. For example, you could have:
"And every battle have I won...

Now come one, come all,

Come here to see."

Or something like it. You could get rid of the ellipses and just have the changed words, or keep the ellipses. Everything's up to you. You are, after all, the writer!

Anyway, your poem was a good, fun read, with an interesting message, and I enjoyed it overall. You definitely have potential to be a great poet and I look forward to reading more of your work!

I thought this was amazing. I loved how pretentious and self absorbed he was, in life, very much like the one from "Shrek". I loved the "Long and Bouncy Hair" especially. And then he cowers like a baby.

And then the end...oh I was not expecting that. I was thoroughly amused.

Keep writing hilarious poetry

Hey there Kat here to write a review for you!

This was hilarious XD I'm bored here sitting in class with nothing to do and this was very enjoyable. At first I was like oh my gosh this is going to be sterotypical and boring but it really wasn't. However :
To slay it have I come,
And every battle have I won."

Felt very unatural and I felt like in the beginning you had a really nice rhyme going but it just died and became an after thought. This was certainly not as good as it could have been but like I said it's non-to-shabby even though at parts it really was the same old same old handsom prince story. I did like how your rythm and flow were for the most part very easy and natural and your formatting made it easy to read. Keep it up!

~Kat

Hey JayCShore!
Supernb here with a review!

Firstly let me start by saying that this poem is AWESOME
It's funny and humorous. What else do you need?

This poem reminds me of the prince charming from the fairy-tales trying their best to woo the princesses. I liked the rhyming scheme. It gave the poem a good flow.

I couldn't find any nitpicks as such. I loved your choice of words and description!
And yes, I loved the end the most

Anyways, a job well done. You get a thumbs up from me (y)

Keep up the good work and keep writing more!
I would love to read from you.
Cheers
-- Supernb

I apologize, I meant to make my comment into a review, anyway I absolutely love this poem. I was certainly drawn in and when I first read the title and I had expected a different ending than what was actually written - that is a good thing. I hope to read many more from you. ^w^

The ending was unexpected, but I certainly loved it! ^w^