Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but then the phonebook might pee on you.


I wish my Spanish teacher would retire.

Granted but the next one is one of those women who have sex with their students and then she starts a prostatution ring and well before you know everyone has some kind of STD and what a mess it has become.

I wish my animations would come along faster

granted but then they run off of the page and cause havock by trashing your house.

I wish I don't have to go back to school

Granted, But now you play computer games all day and are too lazy to leave the house.

I wish I could see Fred again!

Granted, but he's currently being held hostage by Martian revolutionaries.

I wish I had film in my camera.

Granted, but the film has already been exposed to sunlight and therefore worthless.

I wish I had a brand-new laptop.

Granted, but it's so new that no software has been designed for it yet.


I wish the chocolate-chip cookies weren't burnt.

Granted, but now they're undercooked and the oven is full with other food that takes 8 hours to cook; so you'll need to wait.


I wish I had unlimited patience.

Granted, but everyone around you becomes very impatient.

I wish I had sometjing sweet that is edible.

granted, but it is so sweet it attracts all sorts of bugs that eat it straight from your hand

I wish my computer wasnt so slow

Granted but now it's so quick that it runs away and you can't catch it.

I wish i could sew up the hole in my jeans without injuring myself

granted, but you hurt your jeans and make them cry!

i wish i had something to do

Granted, but that happens to be cleaning toilets. Here's your toothbrush.


I wish it was tomorrow already.

Yes, but then it would be today!

I wish I do well on my violin solo!

Granted, but you'll do so well they sweep you off to violin camp in Russia where you have no life and all you will do is practice all day and get yelled at by some crazy music teacher.


I wish my parents weren't so annoying.