Young Writers Society

I am so so excited to read your poetry this NaPo week, Chem!! I am already so excited just from reading your theme Can't wait!!! So glad you are here!!

EllieMae wrote:I am so so excited to read your poetry this NaPo week, Chem!! I am already so excited just from reading your theme :D Can't wait!!! So glad you are here!!

Thank you so much, Ellie!!

i reread the very first notebook i filled,

back when i never used to care. veins of selfishness

filled my arms, bled through my cuts. i look back on

that little girl who had been told

she was perfect, and there was no need to change—

i look back on her and think that if she had known

about our metamorphosis, perhaps she

would have been kinder to the people who mattered.


i looked on at my life through ebony-colored glasses.

the layers of my supposed heartbreak covered me in an endless grief.

never put on a fake smile, never cared for lies.

in that way, i miss the old me.

but i never put on a brave face—and the harsh truth exited my own sensitive lips.

my poetry was vengeful and inconsiderate, woven with sentiments

i would never voice aloud.


the very first notebook is one i regret.

i left the world behind,

fell into another galaxy—the stars seemed so bright yet so strange.

you were there, of course. supernovas around us glimmered.

tiny moments between us turned

into pinpricks of an unusual light.

i never knew i’d see a place like this, yet i felt at home

among the many planets surrounding me.


rainbow light is the only way to describe it.

i tried to suffocate myself within their normality for so long

but when i finally discovered my new universe

i knew i could finally breathe—my slow heartbeat from when i saw it

laced its way through my script, colored all my greyscale journal entries.

and at last i feel like i am swimming through a neverending ocean of joy,

i never need to come up for air. the euphoria of opening myself up

has tinted all the days following with a sunlight sheen.


i am no longer bound by terrestrial rules--

on earth i never could have loved you. but here we are.

this morning i breathed in the chilly fall air as if it was my last—

left the world behind as i stared at the cloud my breath made. i wish not to be in real life,

there are better places to be. perhaps in my mind. perhaps in yours.

maybe if i lose myself in my own thoughts for long enough i’ll cross yours.


because every time i put one foot in front of the other,

trying to survive, hoping to thrive—

i tell myself it’s all for you. if it weren’t for you maybe i would just

walk back into those old patterns, dip my foot into the quicksand

just to know how sinking feels. leave my healing behind just to hit self-destruct once more.

if you ever left i might just push that button.


i miss you when i’m in a crowded room, everyone wants a smile and a wave

but i’m drowning in my anxiety because i don’t know how to

do life when you’re not there. you push against my logical thoughts,

i try to reason with myself, try to say it’ll never happen between us,

but you’ve clouded my better judgement.


i tell myself i’m not falling for you,

not because i’m not in love but because

in reality you’re dragging me deeper into the water with each word you speak.

my days pass by like ships on the harbor

where i sat in san francisco

trying not to cry.


they moved so slowly

as if they had nowhere to be

and i remember thinking

i had nowhere to be as well.


everyone i’d ever loved had left me on their front doorstep

begging them to come back

like they were my breath and

i was suffocating.


and when they didn’t respond to texts

i wrote letters.


folded up

kept in a box

the box overflowed by the end of the year.


my favorite pen was dry.

i didn’t buy a new one.

truth be told,

i didn’t want to have to write to them anymore.


perhaps i could have just moved on

but my letters kept going.

i rolled them up and put them in a jar

as if seeing them on my dresser

would remind me not to trust.


i decorated the jar like

hot-gluing flowers onto it

and painting the lid bronze

would make staring at the glass

any less painful.


i found salvation in my bed at night

thinking of what could be

tried to tell myself it would work out

but my lies have never been convincing enough.


the one person who was ever supposed to stay

cut off my rope

and i started

d r i f t i n g

out to sea—

out to see

the clutches of the worst pain i’d ever felt.


days passed like ships on the harbor

and i passed my life into someone else’s hands

because i proved that it wouldn’t be safe in my own.


i wish i could say i saw the light

because everyone told me i would after all my struggle

but i’m still there.

all those i’ve ever lost

are still here haunting me.


i think i filled one too many notebooks

with one too many thoughts.


writing gave me a home

so i visited obsessively—

unfortunately, life has made my pen dry.

So much poetry so far! Love the contemplative vibes I'm getting from these last two. Keep on going!

alliyah wrote:So much poetry so far! Love the contemplative vibes I'm getting from these last two. Keep on going!

thank you so much alliyah!!

i felt the blanket between my fingers as if it would fall away at my touch--
the everyday denial i face leaking into my poetry. the lights i turn on
all turn off eventually, but when i was young i'd pretend
that everything i started would last forever. the person i can't imagine my life without
will someday be my wife, and my parents will meet her and fall in love.
rude awakenings, i guess.
because not two years ago i stepped foot in a place i knew i'd never leave,
and now i am sitting here wondering how i ever thought i'd stay. touching the willow tree,
willing its leaves to not fall off. i write and i write about how my life is sparkling violet
but when i go home i sit at my desk and wonder if it's ever been true.

he softness of your hand on the back of my neck stings

now that we're done and buried. 

you're in the same room as me,

and i wish i could reach to you, 

ask "what went wrong?" while i twined your fingers into mine. 

you were my very first everything, and your cracked promises gave me hope

that you'd be my last. 


motivation to wake up passes me by

every day that i don't look you in the eye. 

i told myself you were my reason, 

but when your reason to live 

d i s a p p e a r s

what are you supposed to do?


fairy lights on your wall 

used to illuminate my whole world, 

but now i'm not sure if you remember my name.

pass by you in the fluorescent hallway light

and nowadays i walk right by.

 

i erased every scrap of us from my notebook, 

took a black pen to every time i wrote "i love her". 

i would ask you if you'd done the same.

but knowing us, you'd never have written my sweet nothings down in the first place. 

knowing us, i should've known how badly it would end. 

Chem!!!! AHHHH!! This week was amazing!! Thanks so much for posting all of your poetry I really hope that you enjoyed your first mini NaPo!! You make this site so much better and I am so glad I was able to follow along with these. You have such a talent. Keep on writing and cant wait to see where you take us next!! <3333