Several emotions assaulted her at once. The thoughts that had deserted her mind in the time that mattered, the answers that had evaded her until then - everything swirled inside her in a tangled mess. But it was too late.
She'd failed. She was done for.
Her heart felt too heavy in her chest and she wished there was some way to pluck it out and get rid of the weight. But she couldn't move. She couldn't do anything but sit there and swallow back broken sobs that went unheard by the world around her.
What now?
She wondered, but she had no answer.
It was a clear night and a few minutes past midnight. Still, the city around her had more life than she could muster from her bones. It zoomed past her with an unrelenting speed, without a pause of consideration, and she wondered absently if that was life. Inconsiderate and unrelenting and always moving.
"Listen, I can't arrange my life according to your mood swings okay? So if you could stop thinking about yourself for one damned second, I think it would benefit us all at the moment."
"Oh, so now I am only thinking about myself?"
She could see that he was preparing for battle, but by that point, she was done. There was nothing worth fighting for here. She knew that now.
"Yes, you are. You always are. And if you weren't, you would have realized you broke our mother's heart last night when you shut that door on her face. You would've shown remorse, Jake, you would've felt something. But since we both know you aren't capable of any of that, can you please stop wasting more of our time?"
"How do you still not know how to tie a tie? What do you even wear to school?"
He threw his arms up dramatically and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
"Hey, you used to tie my ties for me. Its not my fault you stopped offering."
"Yeah, and the last time I remember doing that was like two years ago!"
He shrugged. "Well, its not like ties need to be washed, you know."
She did not know whether to focus on his statement or its implication. "You mean to say you have been using the same tie that I tied for you, for the last two years?"
He looked at her like he was confused why they were still having this conversation and wasting his precious time.
"What do you want me to say? Youtube tutorials suck."
She shook her head and threw the shirt in his face. "You're an idiot."
"You know, we had to wake up quite early today and you are definitely not used to such long trips. You should close your eyes for a minute, take some rest."
Lily shook her head defiantly and started fidgeting with the music player once again.
"But I am not even a little bit tired!
10 minutes later, she was out like a light.
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