Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

Grrr...this is hard! I usually practice writing really good opening lines not bad ones!

Here it goes...
I never used to like fishing, but then I caught a really big fish.

Wow that was really random...

"Christine get down here! your going to be late!"

Liza was gorgeous, not just your average beauty. I mean world stopping gorgeous. So perfect that some one could go bline staring at her absolout perfectness.

I flopped down on the living room couch, turning on Disney channel.

*thats all I can think of now. But there are tons of begenings that make me want to scream.

Briiiiiing! The telephone rang making Leslie jump.


Grrrrr! I HATE when things start like this!

He was perfect. Stunningly handsome and sensitive with beautiful blue eyes.

ew, that one just makes me want to puke.

"Oh my God that plane is flying straight towards us" Said Craven


...Ummm any worse?? (Well i cant say any good so i guess this will have to do)

“My name is Anaytharakhaiayain Smith, and I am The Chosen One.”

or:

“My name is Anaytharakhaiayain Smith, and I am The Chosen One, and so I will do great and great things, but I don’t know if I will be able to - well, I don’t know why exactly, as I’m charming, willing to sacrifice everything for my friends (and they for me, and yes, I have tons of friends, all the right people - there’s this warrior and this wizard and - and, well, I don’t remember, but they don’t really matter - I do), and - ah, and I’m prophesied, so nothing can really go awry, and I know that someone will tell me how to foil the Bad Guy’s plan’s in the last minute - no, I mean, I’ll figure that out myself, as I’m highly intelligent, also; but, I know that humbleness is a virtue, so I’m not boasting or anything.”

"You are insane!" I said then got killed by a flying harpoon.

hehe

Worst opening line ever:

"Hi, my name's Bob, and this is a story about me!"

"Poop." the baby said.

'Ohhhh yes! Harder! Harder!' she screamed while I beat her with a stick.

"My god we're dead!" He said

"That was the moment I realized nothing could be like before."



We should elect the best (worst) lines or something

In the final moments before death, I racked my brains for something that could save me. There was nothing.

"The end"

Nothing really interesting happened during the time this novel was set...