Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

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It wouldn't let me leave a blank post, so the above is my opening line.
"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." William Faulkner.

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It all started when I went to the bathroom and unleashed the mother of all turds...




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You, dear reader, are bout the read the greates stroy of all time after which you will send me numerous letters telling me how much you love and worship me and how you wish you were as good a writer as I.
*Don't expect to see me around much in the next couple of weeks. School has started again, and it'll be a couple of weeks before I've settled in. If you've asked me for a critique, you will get it, but not for a little while. Sorry*




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Today had to be the most mundane day of Lizzy’s life, she decided dully as she sauntered down the dusty, old, cracked street tiles with her black bag swinging annoyingly against her legs as she took more and more steps in the direction of her boring home where she knew no fun awaited and where she was going to spend yet another unexciting afternoon doing nothing but sitting uninterestedly in her tedious room being bored.


Hmm. I tried. :wink:

XxxDo




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I stood just waiting, waiting like I did in the lunch line for a ham and cheese, God I wish I had a ham and cheese sandwich right now.
How nice--to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.
-Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five




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I could never understand why people didn't like it when you poked them.
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The subtle coffin was dressed with black, thorned roses, that reminded me of myself.
there are many problems in our times
but none of them are mine




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They all thought I was crazy, but no, I was not crazy, and crazy I am not, for if I were to be crazy, I would think myself crazy.




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What are you staring at?
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

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"Once upon a time, you were the most idiotic moron for picking this book up."
It is only when dissonance plays one will find pleasure in consonance.
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Your reading of this book shall serve as a dire warning to all those dire people who dare to follow in your dire footsteps.
"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." William Faulkner.

Do you do poetry? Check out Poetry Inspiration over in Groups!




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The stone he had used to kill two birds with had turned out to be a fragile, expensive, irreplacable fossil.

(I write this one because, in a nervous panic, I actually used it for my creative writing piece in an exam)
But enough about me, what do YOU think about me?




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This book was a book--not a good book, not a bad book, just a book, but then you opened it and I realised it must be very bad.
Sir Logic, the puzzle of DOOM.

Meh




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"And then I said, 'Your mom!' Ahahahaha."
“We’re still here,” he says, his voice cold, his hands shaking. “We know how to be invisible, how to play dead. But at the end of the day, we are still here.” ~Dax

Teacher: "What do we do with adjectives in Spanish?"
S: "We eat them!"




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Once upon a time, someone died.
Writing: My Anti-Drug



I would always rather be happy than dignified.
— Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre