Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

791 posts1 ... 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 ... 53
Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1176
Reviews 56
Hello. I am Sally, the cat. I hang around the house all day and do nothing except be petted by my servants and make them change my kitty litter. In this book, I will guide you through every useless, boring detail of my life.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 80
Bread is my favourite food. It's all I eat, as a matter of fact. This story is going to be all about bread.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1224
Reviews 172
This is a book about tuna salad.
"Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world." - G. B. Shaw
Lynlyn's Magical Critique Emporium - request a review here.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6517
Reviews 402
The only thing I ever watch is Nascar.
How am I not myself?




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 6
On Monday, I woke up, put on my clothes, and went to work. It was a nice day because I was able to be very productive. I might get a raise. You know what, I love cheese-puffs. They're the best mass-produced foodstuff ever invented. Do you know why? It's because...




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1318
Reviews 17
I'm a tramp, and so are you.
no second thoughts, the knife is nearing
you'll never hear the little pitter patter pitter patter




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1564
Reviews 181
Before we start, we must wait one hundred minutes before you can read on. Now wait another hundred minutes. And another hundred. And another...
"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." William Faulkner.

Do you do poetry? Check out Poetry Inspiration over in Groups!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 26
Because this is postmodern literacy, the following pages shall be blank. Dear reader, please fill in the blank.
It is only when dissonance plays one will find pleasure in consonance.
topic34094.html <-- Free Reviews




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 790
Reviews 2
"He woke up."
"Some authors should be paid by what is NOT written."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 53
"He fell asleep" ;)


Reason Invalid wrote:Because this is postmodern literacy, the following pages shall be blank. Dear reader, please fill in the blank.

Is it sad that I can totally imagine seeing this somewhere?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1813
Reviews 15
I am warning you beforehand that the protagonist is a Mary Sue, the plot is exceedingly boring, and you will probably drool on and mangle this book before long.
"It's my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 890
Reviews 70
Open wide, said the transvestite hooker, I've got a big gooey long one coming up--nice and steamy-- just like you like em.

actullay i dont think thats a bad one ata ll.. im gonna use it on my next novel.. watch out of it.. ill title it.. the poop of a transvestite named bob.
purple bunnies hop at midnight




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 15
This is my life's biography, which will consist of how I, the most unpopular girl at school, met the Jonas Brothers.

*shudders*
Music is like candy, you have to throw away the wrappers ^-^

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." — Confucius




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1564
Reviews 181
Warning: May only be consumed by sadomasochists. And yes, that means you can eat it too.
"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." William Faulkner.

Do you do poetry? Check out Poetry Inspiration over in Groups!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1564
Reviews 181
My favourite film was made in Zambia.
"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." William Faulkner.

Do you do poetry? Check out Poetry Inspiration over in Groups!



If you don't know it's impossible it's easier to do. And because nobody's done it before, they haven't made up rules to stop anyone doing that again, yet.
— Neil Gaiman