I saw this on the 'recommended for you' thing that was added and I thought that I should give it the honour of my clicking on it. I was not disappointed. I'm not a poet, nor am I the best person ever to be reviewing a poem, but I found that this was just amusing in the best possible way. I always liked the poems that make you believe one thing then turn out to be something completely different. I don't know if I'm just repeating what many others have said before (admitedly, I didn't feel like reading your 3 pages of comments, way to go by the way) but good job!
I agree with everyone, very funny suprising too, thought it was a love poem, lol my favourite part was the end
"The rabbit always squeals in the jaws of the fox, but when has another rabbit ever rushed up to save it?" Damon Salvatore ;'( please, my lump, he just needs HUGS <3 Need a review? Just ask Just keep writing, just keep writing, do-do-do-do-do
It's short, sweet and it perfectly covers the experience of losing one's internet connection. The cool thing is you could take out that last line and replace it with pretty much anything electronic that's screwed you over at one point or another.
Remember your name. Do not lose hope — what you seek will be found. Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn. Trust dreams. Trust your heart, and trust your story. - Neil Gaiman
Sorry I'm not commenting on thepoem - on a general note it's original but needs developement.
I just wanted to say that boolovesyou's comment about how you shouldn't use contractions in formal writing is ENTIRELY misguided! I see that you're 14 and therefore probably going through secondary school right now so that maybe explains it. It is perfectly fine to use contractions in poetry, song lyrics, story telling. I don't know where you've got this idea from, maybe when you say formal writing you were suppose to understand that to be something very formal like a speech or a letter. Even then contractions like "couldn't" are absolutely fine. There are really no rules to how inventive you are allowed to be with language when it comes to poetry.
This is not a proper review, I just wanted to say that I found this hilarious. At first, I thought it was about someone who literally died, then I thought it was about someone who left you, and as I read on I could really connect to the theme and thought 'How true', then when I realized it was about your internet connection- well, I should have known better, but I laughed. I mean, if laughter was the reaction you were going for, it definitely worked! Loved it!
This is amazing. This actually made me laugh out loud in the middle of class. I liked how at first it seems like an anger at a loved one who died but suddenly it's like "hahaha internet! you fail!!" good jobb.
Ahhhhh, Tanya...this is why I love you. You speak to my heart unlike any other, besides Garrett Hedlund. *high five* This poem could have been about my relationship with the internet connection at my house. It really ticks me off sometimes all the time. I read this and all I could do was laugh and picture you writing this in a fit of frustration. It's really funny. Weeeeell...that's all I have to say. Great work my friend!
Happy Writing! Bailey
After all, it is the pen that gives power to the mythical sword.
"For an Assistant Pig-Keeper, I think you're quite remarkable." Eilonwy
"You also shall be Psyche."
"My only regret all the Butterflies that I have killed with my car" Martin Lanaux
LMAO!!! XD That was an awesome poem!! I was a little confused as to why the poem would be so angry, then I scroll down and I crack up laughing!
It was simple, and most of it was powerful because of that. Also, the title definitely draws attention. I didn't like the anger used in it at first, but then i got it. LOL XD I would like a little more dramatic writing in it.. but that's just me ^_^"
All in all, the poem served it's purpose Great work =]
This really made me smile. Its unique and what most of us are thinking most of the time i think! Amusing stuff like this is always good and i think the structure in the writing is good and different Ignore any bad comments lol
Ok, here's my train of thought while reading this.... (in red )
You died on me tonight, ON me? not sure if I want to read on, but can't help the suspense! you worthless piece of shit. Do I really need to keep going? YEEESS!!
You’d made me dependant of you. You’d made me love you. These two lines: Oh, no, sappy, depressed love dovy...KEEP GOING!
I was good to you! I treated you with respect! Exclamation points are good!
Why did you leave me here, alone, distraught and vulnerable? Oh, no, not again.....
Couldn’t you have given me a warning? A sign? One last chance? Need I say more?!
I need you. I want you. Would you consider coming back? KILL ME NOW!!!
No?
Burn in hell, Internet Connection. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Bravo! Loved it! Love it! Wanna read more! I don't believe this is your first time writing poetry! Hilarity is one of the many joys of poetry! Keep writing!
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.
I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.
I agree with everyone, very funny suprising too, thought it was a love poem, lol my favourite part was the end
