You died, tonight.

RachelW

Gender

Points 1046

Reviews 7

Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:09 pm

RachelW says... · Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:09 pm

Amazing!

I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul -Invictus

Quote

PaperNessa

Gender

Points 1666

Reviews 76

Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:55 pm

PaperNessa says... · Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:55 pm

haaha wow i wasn't expecting the ending but it made sense. I liked the poem. (: good job

Quote

danipower0204

Gender

Points 1198

Reviews 83

Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:07 pm

danipower0204 says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:07 pm

HAHA this was realy funny. Started reading it as a really serious poem, but the ending just made it great!

Great turn at the end. And yes, I agree with ^^ boolovesyou, watch out for contractions in formal writing. But it works here, cuz its not really that formal!

MORE!

Check out: http://www.planetsplash.com/
Providing News, Great Ideas, and More

Quote

ToritheMonster

Gender

Points 19733

Reviews 351

Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:01 pm

ToritheMonster says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:01 pm

My friends were reading this over mny shoulder and we were confused as to why this would ever be a featured work untill we saw the end- lovely job

. It made me chuckle. Probably one of my favourite new poems on the site.

Nice job, mate.

Honey, you should see me in a crown.

Quote

borntobeawriter

Supporter

Gender

Points 30301

Reviews 770

Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:02 pm

borntobeawriter says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:02 pm

Thanks hahahaha. Good one, Dreamy!

Quote

SoggyPoptart

Gender

Points 1512

Reviews 33

Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:11 pm

SoggyPoptart says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:11 pm

borntobeawriter wrote:Burn in hell, Internet Connection.

AHAHAHAHAH

That is too good! You are amazing! Sorry, I know this review is completely pointless.

-Soggy

Life isn't like a box of chocolates. Life is more like a jar of Jalapenos, what you do today might burn your rear tomorrow!

Quote

BluesClues

Supporter

Gender

Points 92255

Reviews 1748

Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:58 pm

BluesClues says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:58 pm

Ha, this is great. From the title I thought it would be a serious poem, then from the first line I thought it would be about a car...and then, it's the Internet. How many of us haven't felt THAT way before? Great job!

~Blue

Quote

paperbackheart

Gender

Points 1022

Reviews 139

Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:05 pm

paperbackheart says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:05 pm

Haha, this was funny. Though yeah, I agree that it didn't flow well. Still, all for fun, so I don't really care. The last line makes me laugh.

There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. -Anonymous.

Quote

borntobeawriter

Supporter

Gender

Points 30301

Reviews 770

Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:07 pm

borntobeawriter says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:07 pm

Haha, thanks. I really never thought this would become so popular!

Thanks everyone for liking it so much!

Quote

XxMattxX

Gender

Points 6338

Reviews 140

Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:44 pm

XxMattxX says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:44 pm

This is a really nice poem, and funny.
At first, it seems like you are talking about a lover or something.
And in the end, you talk about the worst lover of all... the Internet.

Great poem!
-------------------------
-Jojo.

Solvalery/GeeLyria Fans
Link

Quote

borntobeawriter

Supporter

Gender

Points 30301

Reviews 770

Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:54 pm

borntobeawriter says... · Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:54 pm

Thanks JoJo!

Quote

maxlovesfang15

Gender

Points 754

Reviews 16

Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:43 am

maxlovesfang15 says... · Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:43 am

borntobeawriter wrote:
Spoiler
I was going to click the 'submit' button on the tab. I couldn't find it. I realised it was hidden under a serious amount of 'unuse dust'. *coughs*

Yes, it's been a while, people.

So, this is my first ever poem. I'd love your opinions, but please, don't take this seriously at all.
Tanya

You died on me tonight,
you worthless piece of shit.

You’d made me dependant of you.
You’d made me love you.

I was good to you!
I treated you with respect!

Why did you leave me here,
alone, distraught and vulnerable?

Couldn’t you have given me a warning?
A sign? One last chance?

I need you. I want you.
Would you consider coming back?Ok.I thought this was a person we were talking about...until...

No?

Burn in hell, Internet Connection.

You totally caught me off guard there. I know...the internet is stupid and dies off. I understand this poem is about how frustrated you are of your internet connection, but it was a little abrupt (?) maybe. But I feel the same way when my internet connection dies on me. What can I say? AT&T sucks. But overall this was good and a little funny.

"You must be some kind of deluded because when I look at you I see the most beautiful girl in the entire universe." -Christopher James Leming, my sweet boyfriend

Quote

Rob

Gender

Points 1137

Reviews 55

Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:48 am

Rob says... · Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:48 am

I can really relate to this poem. I guess it is due to my internet connection which is as fast as the speed of a burnt out light.
I just lol'd all the way through the poem. Very good.

"The day we lose our need for dreams is the day the human race forfeits its soul." -John Chiam
"Morpheus: Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life." -Matrix

Quote

Mazey

Gender

Points 2203

Reviews 26

Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:43 am

Mazey says... · Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:43 am

Ahhh, I needed that laugh.

I can just see you laughing maniacally all the way through this poem (at least, I know I would have been). It brings joy to my heart every time I read the last line.

-Mazey

"Write what you want to read."

Quote