Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

^ This sounds like it would make an awesome movie. Could you imagine the explosions and big balls of lightning? Not to mention the fight scenes. It'd be as awful as Legion, though

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!oneoneoneone YOU ACTUALLY OPENED MY BOOK!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oneoneoneoneone

seeminglymeaningless wrote:^ This sounds like it would make an awesome movie. Could you imagine the explosions and big balls of lightning? Not to mention the fight scenes. It'd be as awful as Legion, though

Thank you...I guess?

This is the first line of my story. (I hope no one thought of this one yet) or At the bend, the river curves. (I hope no one's thought of this one either.)

I'd never given much thought as to how I would die - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

Topic over.

"My consciousness kicks in and I am aware."

I'm pretty embaressed of this one because I actually wrote it recently. Hate it now, though.

"FOget you!' i shouted to the manager as i stormed out.
i am the best person In TnhWE wORld And not a souL Can Say otherwise because i am greetness and you cant say otherwise
you may be woner ing what i was soo worked uopa About welll if you must know it is the dumbest thing!
i came to work 16 hours late. that's barely a day! and i got fired! what a prick! u understand me right! of course you do! BECAUSE I AM A FRICKING PRINCESS THAT NEEDS EVERYTHING AND I AM THE MAIN CHARACTYER AND EVERYTHING NEEDS TO GO MY WAY AND YOU AR NOW FORCED TO READ MY BOOK!!!!111

Hi. i am the main character as you may know and i will go ahead and worn you about the flollowing:
Sotry mai contan:
-random changing of POV without warning
-missspelled wortds.
-crappy grammar
-unfunny jokes that everyone in the book laughs at except for you, the reader
-a, c,,o,m,,a, m,i,ss,p,la,c,e,d, a,,,,f,e,w, t,i,ime,s,
-bad puncuation and use of words
-poor life choices for characters
-steryotypes
-cliches
-and much much more!

(Insert worst story opening here)

Actawesome wrote:I'd never given much thought as to how I would die - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

Topic over.

This is true.

I am writing to tell you the tale of a certain creature -- horse-like, with alternating black-and-white stripes that change from black to white to black to white and so on, and lives in the hot and humid tropical rainforests of Greenland, along with elephants, eagles, and elks -- whom, dear reader, I like to call the zebra.

. . .

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

*************

It's the beginning of My Immortal by Ms Tara Gillespie, nothing beats this.

Are you kidding? That's the best! Lol kidding. Sad thing is that I'm sort of a fan of Tara. It's just so funny. My Immortal cheers me up on a sad day. Her "biggest fan" XXXTaraRocksXXX does too.

Ariadne stared at the blood red moon with her crystalline blue eyes. From the forest behind her, a wolf howled in impatience. But she had to pause and stare dramatically - for what, she reasoned, was life if not drama?

Or, how about:

The dagger clattered to the floor as she beheld his gravity-defying hair. "What," she began, and stopped. "How?"

I took a nap. I got up. I got a snack. I pet the dog. I fed the fish. I payed some bills. I went back to sleep.