I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

“Think of it like we hate you and want you to go away!” Dusk glowed menacingly.

Joe cross his arms. “Well, too bad!”

Vendetta groaned. “Just say your piece and leave please!”

"Fine, fine! Kids nowadays," Joe grumbled. "Too much causing drama and not enough appreciation for dramatics." He flared his sleeves and tossed some sparkles into the air. "Well, as you well know, I am a very impressive wizard. And my crystal ball has shown me that you all are plotting against me... I advise you to stop." Joe smiled.

"Oh yeah? Or what?" Valeri raised an eyebrow.

"Or you'll face the consequences." Joe grinned.

"We're not afraid of you, Joe!" Vendetta picked up the letter. "You're not a threat."

"Oh, really?" Joe crawled onto their hand. "Because Khalil is. Do you want to know what I did to him?"

"You turned him into a cloak." Valeri scowled at the wizard. "I can't believe we didn't notice it earlier. Cloak Khalil was constantly struggling against you! But I don't blame us. Only a twisted mind would think of turning a human into a sentient piece of cloth."

Joe grinned. “If that’s all you can think of, I’ll leave you to your small imagination. But, when I come for you, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The hologram burst into tiny pieces of light before disappearing altogether.

Vendetta crumpled the letter.

"Ugh. Joe is an absolute villain." Valeri frowned. "Wanna chuck that letter into the campfire?"

Vendetta chucked the letter in. “Gladly.”

They crossed their arms, glaring at the paper as it burned.

Dusk nervously turned to Vendetta. “Are you okay?”

Vendetta nodded. “Fine.”

"Well, I'm not." Valeri watched the last scraps of paper burn. "What did Joe mean by that?" She turned to Vendetta, a concerned frown on her face. "What exactly did he do to Khalil? And what does he mean by consequences for us?"

Vendetta growled. “Probably some creepy, awful thing because Joe is the scum of the earth and everything he does is too.” They stood up and kicked a nearby stone. It skittered across the floor.

They yelled, wrapping their fingers around their hair and tugging.

Valeri blinked. It was rare to see their sweet sibling so worked up and insulting someone.... She supposed Joe deserved all the insults thrown at him. But still. "Vendetta, are you really okay?" they asked gently.

“No! I’m so angry, Valeri. And I don’t know what to do with it.” Vendetta started pacing, throwing their hands into the air in exasperation. “I want to grab Joe by the shoulders and scream at him until his ears bleed. But at the same time. The same time-“ Vendetta’s face fell, and all of their angry energy seeped out of them. “-I don’t want to dedicate so much energy to him. He doesn’t deserve it.”

Valeri's face darkened. "You're right. That cruddy wizard doesn't deserve any of our energy." They sighed. "But Cody and Khalil do. So let's go get some evidence against Joe and make sure he can't hurt anyone else, once and for all. And I bet a blow to his pride will hurt a lot more than any physical injury we could give to him."

Vendetta nodded. “Yeah. We’re going to head to Houston, we’re going to find evidence against Joe, and we’re going to bring. Him. Down.”

They sat back down on the log and picked up their sausage.

Valeri picked up her sausage skewer as well and continued roasting it. "Alright, so what's our plan for destroying that moldy cabbage of a wizard? We follow Lavender, right? But once we have whatever evidence we need... when can we confront him? I want it to be as public as possible. The humiliation should be nearly tangible."

“Well, Joe no longer has the thing he desires the most. So the real question becomes how does he retaliate?” Vendetta blew on their sausage. “We know Joe likes using the public. He’s very persuasive.”

Dawn bobbed in agreement. “He’ll take care of the publicity thing for us.”