I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Vendetta gave Khalil their best puppy dog eyes. "Leave me alone to suffer, please."

Khalil nodded and stood up. "Okay." He walked away.

Vendetta blinked. "Wait, what?"

Valeri squeaked in surprise.

Khalil walked a few more paces, then stopped and turned around. Xe raised xer eyebrows. "Interesting. Try that again?"

Vendetta flushed. "Uh, okay." They turned to Valeri. "Hey, Val." They turned on their puppy dog eyes again. "Turn into a human, please."

Dusk and Dawn hovered closer.

In the space of a few seconds, Valeri shrunk from a truck-sized hamster back into human form. Once she'd made sure she was fully human again, they grinned at Vendetta. "Neat! You've got, like, superpowered puppy eyes now, huh?"

Vendetta grinned. “I guess so! And do you know what that means?”

“You can get free stuff?” Dusk glowed a mischievous bright purple.

Vendetta narrowed their eyes. “What? No! I mean I can get Joe to confess to everything. Lying about Cody, kidnapping Khalil. We won’t have to worry about anything else!”

Cody nodded. “Yes, you could. But it won’t be as simple as it sounds.”

"Why not?"

Cody sighed. "Well, for one, Joe's a talented wizard. Once he realizes what you're doing, he'll likely cast a counter spell or down an antidote."

Valeri frowned. "Okay. Well, maybe I can trap him with my giant hamster claws so he can't do anything?"

"Then it'd seem like you both were the bad ones."

"Oh."

"There's another thing. Who would trust you both over Joe? You'd have to word your request very specifically so Joe wouldn't find a way to twist the truth." Cody started pacing. "Even then, he could make false claims about your ability, like asserting that your true ability is mind control and you were forcing him to lie or something. And since he's all over the media being praised for being a whistleblower right now, I'm afraid that wouldn't go very well for you."

Vendetta groaned for the third time in the span of ten minutes and promptly fell back onto the grass. "This sucks."

Dawn hummed. "Royally sucks."

Dusk's glow diminished. "Doubly royally sucks."

"Triple royally--"

"Okay, I think we get the point." Khalil offered the siblings a half-smile. "Not all hope is lost, though! Joe does have his weaknesses."

"And what would those be?" Valeri asked.

Vendetta sat up. "Wait. Maybe his weaknesses lie in his story. Cody's not raising an undead army. Khalil isn't dead. So, how did he discover all of these things that aren't true?"

"He didn't. He lied."

"Exactly! Since he lied, then there has to be something in his timeline or story that points to the truth."

Valeri's eyes widened. "You're right!" She tugged at her hair. "Okay, so how do we call him out on it?"

Dawn hummed. "Well, what exactly is Joe's story?"

"Something about Cody and an undead army? It should be all over the newspapers."

Khalil pulled out xer phone, immediately wincing at the article xe pulled up. "'Brave Wizard Testifies Against Tech-Genius Cody's Crimes Against Humanity' I'm going to break his bones, Cody."

Cody patted Khalil's thigh. "I know, dear. You've been saying that for years."

Xe scoffed. "It's been true for years."

"Well, try not to maim him before we disprove his claims." Cody offered a smile to Khalil, who rolled xer eyes.

"Finee. But then he's going to pay."

Valeri peeked at the article. "Okay, so it says he 'stumbled upon Malacoda's maleficent atrocities on a fateful Monday'-- ugh, who wrote this?" Valeri mimed gagging.

Cody winced at "Malacoda," clearly not a fan of his name. "Someone who clearly doesn't like me very much."

Khalil angrily mumbled a violent series of death threats under xer breath, their bright smile slightly menacing now.

Valeri glanced at Cody and Khalil in concern, then continued reading. "Josephinzo the Great had been enjoying a casual walk in the park, when he noticed that something felt... off. His spells were telling him that it had something to do with Cody, the famed magitech innovator, but there was no way! Cody was innocent and loved by the public, right? But as Josephinzo the intrepid wizard soon discovered, there was more to the story." Valeri coughed. "I don't think I can read any further. This is just..." They shook their head and frowned.

Vendetta cocked their head. "What? How would Joe get a premonition about Cody? Is that even his signature?"

Cody shrugged. "I don't actually know what Joe's signature is. We stopped talking before he figured it out."