I Am Totally a Real-Life Wizard (Not Clickbait, I Swear!)

Valeri's dimensions changed, and when they opened their eyes, the world was awash in shades of black, white, and green. And Valeri felt... heavier? She twitched her whiskers. Wait, what?

"Please tell me I'm not a giant cat."

Dawn tried to swallow a giggle. "Actually... I think you're a giant hamster."

Vendetta looked at Valeri. "Oh, my gosh! You look just like Almathea but bigger." They paused. "Way bigger. You're as big as a pick-up truck."

Dusk burst into laughter. "All hail Valeri, the might hamster!"

Valeri groaned. "This is humiliating."

"Pfft! Think on the bright side. You can make your enemies choke on their own laughter." Dawn glowed an amused pink.

"Not. Funny."

"You have sharp claws and teeth now, though," Dusk supplied.

Vendetta nodded. "They're just being mean, Valeri. As a giant hamster, you can cause some real damage! You could crush Joe's car. Like, completely total it."

Khalil nodded. "That's right. This is your signature, Valeri, and I'm sure it'll serve you well."

Valeri sighed. "Thanks, Vendetta and Khalil." She gave a few experimental swings of her paw. "Not bad. I'll have to get used to it... but yeah, maybe this could work." Valeri awkwardly turned towards Vendetta. "How about you? Feel any different?"

Vendetta rubbed their eyes. "My eyes feel a little strange, but nothing like a grand transformation. Everyone looks a little weird, though. All of the people look sharper." They sighed. "I don't know what that means."

"Hm. Maybe you can see more stuff?" Valeri winced. "Sorry, that's very unhelpful." They scratched their ear. "Okay, maybe it's mind-reading? What number am I thinking of?"

Vendetta narrowed their eyes. "Thirteen?"

"Nineteen." Valeri frowned. "Okay, what about truth-telling? I'll say two sentences, and you have to choose which one's the lie. Number one: I'm really craving some ice cream right now. Number two: My side is really itchy."

"Number one. You're actually craving frozen yogurt right now." Vendetta flinched. "I don't know why I said that. My brain did not point me in that direction."

"Number two was the lie, but frozen yogurt does sound really good, actually..."

Vendetta groaned. "Come on, eyes, do something cool." They collapsed against the grass. "Or maybe this is my affinity. People-crisping."

Dusk laid beside them. "Hey! It's okay. There are still two more potions."

"I'm sure your ability will be amazing, Vendetta!" Valeri nudged Vendetta with one huge paw as Khalil rummaged through the pack.

As Khalil held out a sea-green bottle in Vendetta's direction, Valeri attempted to shrink back to human form. "Come on. Human form. No fur, no claws. Huuumaaaaan."

Vendetta sighed and accepted it. "Thank you." They drank it. This one was even sweeter as if the mask the bitter disappointment of not succeeding.

They waited for a moment only for-

-nothing to happen.

Vendetta groaned again.

Valeri paused their struggling to turn into human form for a moment. "Does anything look different? Any tingling?"

Khalil held out a peachy pink potion. "If not, we have this potion. Fair warning, though. The third potion may come with some side effects... Nothing permanent, though!"