ziggiefred

Hello there :) Oh, and welcome to YWS! If I take this poem lightly, then it's...quirky. I liked the use of "last" to relate to your intention. If I take ...

Hello there :) I lie in wait for something grand Please revise this line I found this very cliché and plain. There were very few enticing elements. I mean, this ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) To be honest, this whole story nagged a lot. You spent a lot of time whining which made everything a bit boring and ...

Hello there :) Oh, and welcome to YWS! I hope your (you're) as happy as you seem. I really didn't like the poem so much. I think my major problem ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) I really find this story hard to believe because the emotion is just not there. Losing a child and contemplating suicide is a ...

Hello there :) A red Subaru sped down I-40. I think you should italicise "Subaru". Stephen squinted, trying to see past the headlights that (which) were approaching quickly toward the ...

Hello there :) I think Persephoneia covered a lot on what I wanted to say. The first paragraph, the part in bold, is supposed to be gripping and catchy but ...

Hello there Isaac :) He ran his hand hand along an ovoid knot on the staircase handrail. I think that there is some sort of sophistication about your writing. You ...

Hello there :) This is a potentially great poem. I think the major problem I have with it is how loose it is. Though the rhythm and structure is catchy, ...

Hello there :) I have to say, this is perhaps the best poem I've read this month. Well written. I was brought into reading it, first of all, because of ...

Hello there :) The poem was just fine. I think how you approached it in conjunction with the title, I kind of expected that. Especially the parts with the glass ...

Hello there :) To me this came across as sort of lyrics to a song or something and not much of a formal story. However, I liked there way questions ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) The concept behind your poem is very sweet and means well. The poem as a whole though does not have any emotion and ...

Hello there :) Wow, this was really long. Anyway, I managed to get through it. First of all, the topic you chose is very challenging in terms of the magnitude ...

Hello there and welcome to YWS! :) Your piece has a very interesting twist as it goes to the ending, which I think saved the whole story. I think reading ...