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zephion

Zephion

  • Poetry » General, General Re: It will be a morning burial.

    Hey Persey, Great poem. There's not much else to say. I don't know if there's a name for this style of poetry, but I really like it. The way you ...

    Sep 23, 2012
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Dark Side of The Moon

    Hey qara! Great poem, I really like it! But okay, I have to nitpick. One thing I might do is switch "not" and "to" in the fourth line. I think ...

    Sep 8, 2012
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Identity thief

    I am ...... confused. I think you did some good things with this piece, and I really was not expecting the ending, nor do I understand it, but I assume ...

    Sep 8, 2012
  • Poetry » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Vanity Matters

    Wow, this is great! The way you broke it up, especially the word "no" gave it a really cool rhythm. Now, I notice gaps in grammar that I'm going to ...

    Sep 8, 2012
  • Poetry » Romantic, Other Re: LDR (II)

    Hello Audy, This was great poem and a cool idea, a great metaphor. One thing I might do to improve it is to break it up into stanzas. Maybe this ...

    Sep 7, 2012
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Fading of Light (Regret)

    Hello Epic, A difficult format to write in, so, I understand why you did some things, but it was still confusing until I got the hang of it. For example, ...

    Sep 7, 2012
  • Poetry » Horror, Fantasy Re: My House of Cards

    This cool. I really love the rhyme and the flow of it. The very first lines were really cool, I thought that it was a great description. I don't really ...

    Sep 5, 2012
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The One Who Is Always There

    Poetry is a really abstract, and so it is hard to review, but I will do my best. Amazing poem and awesome idea. The flow is great and it is ...

    Aug 13, 2012
  • Lyrics » Lyrical, General Re: I've Heard It All Before

    Hey, you just posted this so I think it's time for a review! First of all a great idea and a good message, but a few things could be improved. ...

    Aug 13, 2012
  • Lyrics » Dramatic, General Re: Plink, Plink, Plink.

    A cool idea. I enjoy the idea of a song about singing songs and just the simplicity of it. The fact that you want to witness something so grand that ...

    Aug 13, 2012
  • Script » Realistic, Theatre Re: How I've been Feeling

    It seems that I have the honor of reviewing two of your pieces tonight, and my first question is whether this ties in with your break-up monologue. Anyways, I think ...

    Aug 13, 2012
  • Script » Dramatic, General Re: My Break Up Monologue

    This is well done, but a fairly harsh breakup if I do say so myself. Though there are a few things that could be fixed, starting with this line. I'm ...

    Aug 13, 2012
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Field

    This is really awesome. The description is amazing and the story is short, simple and mysterious. I feel as if I should have some constructive criticism, but I can't think ...

    Aug 13, 2012
  • Short Story » Realistic, General Re: To See the World Go Out

    Wow, was really not expecting the last line. I don't know how you did it, but you managed to make me happy and sad at the same time, well done. ...

    Aug 13, 2012
  • Short Story » Other, General Re: A Done Deal

    I really love this piece. It has some great description and background story, but there are a few things that could be fixed. First of all, would a man that ...

    Aug 13, 2012


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— Arcticus