yoha_ahoy

O.O Jabby! This is freaking brilliant! I must say, if this poem says what you feel about poetry now, you are utterly and completely wrong about yourself, because I swear, ...

K, I'm just gonna blurt out what needs fixing as I read here: Cut down on the description of your character. No one wants to read two paragraphs of physical ...

Wow. Great piece. Brilliant first stanza. I loved the rhythm of this, and just the feel. You've got style. ;) I've got nothing to complain about! Keep writing! ~Yoyo 8)

Happy Christmahanukwanzaakah! *is about two months late, but oh well* Bertha! XD Oh Em Gee's! My eyes! *trips over chatspeeks and grammatical airors* Ary- er Erago- um... what?! Aw, she ...

TWO shift keys! Hoorah! We are saved! ACKERWITCHIENESSLY? That's a lot of dollars... I wish I had half of those dollars... these make me talk silly. Aww... sad. Chinese knock-offs ...

I- I'm crying! *wipes tears* I want a Goal-den crayon too, how silly. (scientific name Draco Clamarius ) good repitition my silly friend. ~Yoyo 8)

I like your modern-art/writing style! Very um... stylish! Lay-ond of Cra-yons... it sounds like something my brother and his friends whould write if they were this brilliant. "You tricky-WICKYNESS! No

Great story indeed! I think everyone has pretty much covered everything that needed any fixing. This was really good though. Sad that schools have to see such brilliance as threatening. ...

Cool! Great imagery. And the rhyming is decent as well. Great job overall! I hope to see you post some more in the future! Welcome to the YWS! :D ~Yoyo ...

Hah! This was cool! I must say I like your style! I don't have much mroe to say on this, sorry. :) Keep writing! ~Yoyo 8)

Cool! Yeah, as everyone has said, it feels like it's something true, like you know what you're talking about. It's very simple and sweet, yet you get all the feleings ...

Oooh! I like this one! My only critiques are "pianoist" isn't a word, the term should be "pianist" and "anouther" should be "another" and "cheaks" is "cheeks." I don't get ...

1 - happyness = happiness (line 1 and 11) 2 - Capitalize and make sentences. Don't be afraid to use periods, right now you just have a comma at the ...

Cool! You have a neat idea going here, and if you expand on it like Lucky_Author said, you could have a great poem on your hands here! Keep writing! And ...

Wonderful! Very original. Intersting ending, I didn't quite expect that. I loved your description of the hospital, I could really see that whole scene. Great work! ~Yoyo 8)