I will cry of a
teapot to the head.
Blown wisely and swift
over whistling and giggling, the tatter about.
I will diminish my tea
to half a cup
to save, what I can, of this
teapot.
In a million pieces,
scattered about.
To pause me, in
my scathing and scratched-up hands.
To cause, what I’ll be - a scalding shot
to the face, the bladder, the mouth.
For the teapot, my head
is still mulling about.
Boiling, splashing all about,
wondering if
I can try one more time,
despite a heresy, a dot, and snot.
The red, it
runs down a lot.
So much, the teapot, crying in vain,
whistle and whistle, to numb the pain.
The end - it comes - a teapot
in pieces
boiling of red, of crying and shame.
The tea, I shall
sip not
of this teapot.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Woah. So much emotion coming from a teapot. It really shows how creative you are. All poems need rythem, and yours came with a beat that came to meet me. I didn't have to look for it. It was just there. Good job! Keep up the good work.
Hah! This was cool! I must say I like your style! I don't have much mroe to say on this, sorry.
Keep writing!
~Yoyo
[Pondered for a good few minutes]
Now, I don't think you should take much notice of the review that is coming up, because I believe that I don't really have the intellect to understand it. And that is the main point I have to make here; the first verse, went completely over my head. As did most of the third.
[Sighed]
But, there were some lines which I think were really good, so fabulous. I struggled a little with your choices of puntuation, so I think some points could be changed. I'm giving a brief over-view here, without focusing on the points mainly because I think I may be wrong.
GingerConfusion&Apologies
I liked the first two lines! Very not what I'd expect them to be, and I like that. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the rest of the poem. I felt like it concentrated too much on a patronizing teapot image. Like the audience knows what's really being said, but there's the pretense that they don't.
Concentrate more on double meanings like this, how the teapot sounds like it's crying when the water boils, but crying is also a human feature, rather than more blatant images.