writergirl007

"The first time I saw him was when I was walking through the hallway with my friends. friend Ash and I saw him for the first time that morning." This ...

"He looked down the terminal. He had to go soon. She smiled at him. His heart beat faster." This is too broken up. Try to combine it. Like: "He looked ...

"The self-imposed keeper of “order” who had chased him this deep into the forest threw his blackened, now useless torch to the ground." Comma after order, comma after forest. "Mori ...

"He yelled with pain each time he landed painfully on the ground, branches and rocks scattered all over and denting his armor painfully into his skin." You use "painfully" twice. ...

" The girl’s words echoed, lingering in the light of the moon beams. “So am I.” The boy echoed back." You use Echo twice. Try a different word. Repeating yourself ...

I don't like the intro. I prefer the story just to start. I don't want to be told what is happening, I just want to get into the actual story. ...

Why must stories be so long!!!!!!! UGH! Lol. Well,...I am sure it's just as amazing as everything you do. I just read the first part. I don't really like the ...

Amazing! Outstanding! I loved it! It was so detailed and perfect! I wish I could write like this! It should be longer though. Or more chapters. THis doesn't make much ...

I liked this. Normally, I don't critique series, but I thought someone should. XD. I really do like it. It is just really short, even if it is just a ...

This is marvelous! I know the first part is not yours, but even what you have added is amazing! I really like it! Even if it is a typical romance! ...

I agree with comments above. Sadly, this is how all of my stories are and I find this one fastinating! *Sigh* I will have to change my writing a little ...

Hey cutie. How are you? Don't think just because you are my BF, that you are getting off easy! XD I did like it though. You had me wrapped up ...

I...well. It was well...Look, I don't mean to be such a critique, but I really didn't like this. I found a lot of mistakes, and I have an adversion to ...

Excellent! You have helped me realize how I need to write. I love you're signiture! You are absolutely amazing! XD I have never read so good of a writer who ...

THis was amazing. A little sad at the end. WHy didn't she escape? :( Oh well. I'm not the writer. I did have a few comments. Not as many as ...