whence

It seemed pretentious. Try to incorporate some decent metaphors and don't be so ambiguous and contradictory. Oh, and maybe an intriguing message or moral would give this some weight.

I...can't decide whether or not I liked this. Perhaps I'm reading to much into it... Yes, I'm sure that's it. Mmk... verdict-- If taken at face value, it's an enjoyable ...

These...weren't particularly good. They didn't seem to convey any...message. They were just seemingly random images. But then again, haikus aren't exactly my strong point

Well, if it helps at all, I thought the letting go repitition was well implemented

Edited and updtated! Crits?

Ah, yes. I do love poems like this. Simplistic, yet well-done in their simplicity, none of the rhymes are forced, and your flow is excellent. You said what you felt ...

Not sure what you mean.... So I'll go for politely confused, mmk? :D

I'll do an edit eventually :p But yeah...I'd also love to hear this to music. I'm intrigued as to how it would turn out myself. But I'm no musician, by ...

It was intended to be about the unavoidability of life; to contrast the oft used unavoidability of death. However, this was more me playnig around with phrasings then anything, and ...

erm.... It seemed rather laughable. What with the near-shallow subject matter and the weird addition of the 'I've got the blues' line. It made me think of the kids in ...

honestly, it was rather predictable. I've heard a hundred songs just like it. You've got solid form, just work on presenting your thoughts in a unique manner. Good Luck ~Ed

Thankee much, oregon. Any crits? anyone? [I'll give 2 in return :p ]

*edited to be rated R, in accordance with the rules* Please see here for further details: I All stories and poems must be rated accordingly. If they have vulgar language, ...

AHHH!! I remebered the poem that this one made me think of. Better yet, I found it! Here yeah go -- Same sort of format, but better flowyness. If yah ...

Best writer ever? Most certainly. :D