She clutched the tiny seed in fist
in hopes that it would not be missed.
But grasping tight, not letting go,
suppressed its noble need to grow.
So there within the sun's domain,
amidst the light and gentle rain,
She scooped the soil and made a hole,
And dropped the seed that had a soul.
Her letting go was not a chore,
But letting go required more.
She conquered this, nonetheless,
And starting masking her distress.
When time had passed when all was still,
there bloomed a dainty daffodil
whose beauty made them hold their breath,
but she still mourned her seed's dear death.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Ah, good. Thank you, whence. =D
Well, if it helps at all, I thought the letting go repitition was well implemented
Ah, thank you all very much! You don't know how happy it makes me to know you all enjoyed my poem. =]
McMourning, I have a reason for having "letting go" twice. The first letting go refers to the physical act of letting go of the seed, while the second refers to the emotional kind of "letting go." If it's too bothersome, I'll try to edit it, but I really don't know how I can.
Ah, yes. I do love poems like this. Simplistic, yet well-done in their simplicity, none of the rhymes are forced, and your flow is excellent. You said what you felt should be said, and the closing line was interesting and well-thought.
Kudos.
I agree with McMourning, I too have read poems that have been oublished that are like this, you clearly have the talent to write!
Meevs
x
Amazing...It sounded professionally done. Honestly, I have read published poems like that. So, congrats!
Now, this is just me nitpicking, but I don't really like this. It would flow better if you didn't use "letting go" right below it. I'd actually prefer it if you didn't use 'letting go" at all in the second line.
Sorry, just my two cents,
McMourning