whatevr

Hi guys, thanks for the short reviews for my short piece! 1. I was trying to imply that the son, Kyle, gets his dad then the daughter, my MC, gets ...

As for em rushing the end, thats on purpose so it doesnt get too description-y. Will do on the editing front :) And Shubhi, is this age appropriate or should ...

you might as well delete this.... since I edited the whole thing! Excuse me? delete my first ever 3000 characterreview? Na ah sister. Dont tell me to delete a review, ...

I'll tell you, a baby takes at least nine months to develop, thus making it impossible unless they are in fact step brothers. You need to work on your common ...

Yeah, i went up north and saw my step dads parents and some random hick people (no offence) but yeah, pretty cool. :)

Okay, okay, I recently have become obsessed with reading poetry... but some pieces don't actually rhyme at all... Are they supposed to not rhyme??

edited...

Sorry snoink.... next time i spontaineously decide to go all happy, i will put some ninjas and pirates and buisness men dressed as pancakes and "TWO PIECES OF CAANDAAYYY"

your not supposed to sympathise with the MC....

*edited* Okay, so I finished this on my way up north in a car, so if anything's wrong, just shout out.

Thanks guys. Okay about the 'one way window' have you guys seen the movie hostage?? well the crazed psycho guy is in a bathroom, and behind the mirror is a ...

*edited slightly* please feel free to point out what i missed.. Olli

Is it just me, or does this story seem to be more of a fantasy novel?? Sorry, but it seems more magical than horror, good story though. keep writing Olli

Thanks guys, this really helps and thank you. I will work on it at school and post it back here later this week. thanks olli

Thanks guys, I will get onto those soon.