thehobbitgangster

Hola! These lyrics had a very nice flow to them and the rhyme scheme was solid the whole way through. Just try to punctuate and capitalize in the correct places ...

Hola! So the last stanza was definitely my favorite. It had the best rhymes to me and also flowed really well. It also felt like it had the most feeling ...

Hola! So I just have a quick things to say. Firstly, I like how you gave the genre of this song and also how you demonstrated how you opened the ...

Hola!! So, I definitely agree that your chorus needs a smidge of work. Either decide whether or not you want to keep the rhyme scheme. I recommend one, because it ...

Hola, so this is a good intro. First off, I definitely see this more as a script for a movie versus a play. It could almost be like a scripted ...

These lyrics really got my attention because of the title and it was very well done. When reading it, I got a rap feel about it. I could imagine it ...

Hola!!! Before I say anything else, I'd just like to point out that the way that the text is so bunched is a little hard on the eyes and a ...

I agree with Snoink about the one verse that talked about the past. Perhaps you could instead incorporate the future? How, it would be so much better. Anyways, I loved ...

Hola! So, I thought this poem definitely fit the title you chose. My one issue with it is that is gets a little "who am I" like in a riddle. ...

I agree that this poem should be expanded upon. It felt like there was a whole adventure just waiting to happen. The line that begins "as every star in the ...

Hola! So I'm feeling a country vibe sort of for this song. I don't know if it was the subject matter or the way some of the words rhymes or ...

Hey, this was pretty good. It had a very good rhyme scheme for a while, but sort of fell apart in the second verse. Also some of the rhymes were ...

I agree that this would be much easier to critique for you if you show where the verses begin/end. When I first read through I just thought the chorus was ...

Haha! Those were great! My favorite was definitely the third one! The only line that bothered me out of all of them was the second in Edward's limerick. I don't ...

This song was great! I don't think it was too short, I guess you could've added a bridge too make it longer, but it wouldn't be necessary. I love the ...