tgirly

Hi Emmzziee and happy Review Day! I enjoyed this piece. You did a good job of establishing the conflict right off the bat, and of establishing and keeping the tone/mood ...

Hello again, Ladybird! The backstory is still a bit mysterious and confusing to me, but it's beginning to become clearer. I also liked that we're starting to get to see ...

Hi, Ladybird! Oh my gosh, I LOVED the 'I can't believe it's not butter' reference so much! That was quality content!! You did a really good job of describing the ...

Hello and Happy Review Day! This is a great beginning! A lot of interesting stuff is happening, and I'm already hugely interested and invested in Harry. The characterization is so ...

Hello, and Happy Review Day! I think this piece is a really good beginning to a novel. It does a great job of introducing the main character, as well as ...

Hello, IgniteTheStars and Happy Review Day!!! There's a lot of good stuff happening in this poem, so much that I might forget to mention it all! First off, I love ...

Hi, Autopilot!! Happy Review Day! I really enjoyed this piece; you did a wonderful job painting the specific moment, and showing what made it unique to this particular couple. My ...

Hello and happy Review Day! Hope your summer's going well. "His lips fold into mine, gently first before quickly changing their tune." This is a great line, I really like ...

Hello again! Details: "They crept as close as they can." could. "in an old west film" Old West should be capitalized because it's signifying a region not a direction. I ...

Hello, and happy Review Day! Let's start with the smaller details: "while blood from his stinging ankle dribbled on the rock." Dribble is a strong verb. I can picture exactly ...

"you've ruined how I can't listen my favorite song anymore," The wording of this line is a little confusing. Perhaps you could change it to "you've ruined me/ you've ruined ...

This piece was really descriptive, and I love how you never use the phrase "sleep deprived", but the poem's title is just "deprived" and it's all about sleep. I think ...

Hello! I love this piece and don't have any major critiques, so I'll just give a line level edit: "should the solar rays have pierced the empyrean." Love the line, ...

The most distinctive thing about this poem is the format. I do like how incredibly short the line is, especially at the beginning when you were talking about wanting to ...

Overall, I think you’ve got a really strong beginning here, and it sounds like your story’s going to be really interesting. My main critique would be that you need to ...