sylverdawn

Sorry bout that, this is my first time posting on the new system. I tried putting in spaces but they just wouldn't go. Ditto for the italics.

Chapter 2- Storm: part 1 The first thing Kei noticed when he came to was his pounding head, the second thing he noticed was that his hand hurt as well. ...

I know this is a very long post but please bear with me and read it. I guarantee you'll enjoy it. For those who read the first draft of chapter ...

It's taking me awhile to show my work to publishers. Honestly, I have no Idea what I'm doing. But in the meantime I am going to start posting Fireborn once ...

I'm removing this piece because I'm getting ready to show the first chapters to a publisher to see if they are interested. My thanks to those who took the time ...

I'm removing this piece because I'm getting ready to show the first chapters to a publisher to see if they are interested. My thanks to those who took the time ...

I'm removing this piece because I'm getting ready to show the first chapters to a publisher to see if they are interested. My thanks to those who took the time ...

I see people are about confused about the circumstances of Khy's birth. Khy's mother Nuria, died giving birth to Khy and his twin sister Ameli. However Ameli was stillborn, later ...

I know this is confusing at first. The idea is that Rhys is a being of light or literally the Light. The Shadow is his polar opposite, Rhys is in ...

Sorry forgot to mention, this is the rough draft. I posted it so I could get a general idea how to improve it. Lotus, isn't so much a tomboy as ...

Nice, I really liked it, I'd tone down the description a little but that's just my opinion. I hope you keep it up.

nice, a really good solid start. The memory is vivid, but I kind of got the feeling Haley was younger around eight or nine. Keep writing I'd like to read ...

Really good, I like how you portrayed Dala and Theol, really sinister, and it's nice how part of the prologue is when she's younger, before she understands the world around ...

Very interesting. I bit confusing though with how you've spaced the paragraphs. Keep working on it it seems like an interesting and well thought out story.