sylverdawn

Great work. You did an excellent job introducing the new characters, I like how the siblings stick together. The protective big sister with the trouble making twins, as younger siblings, ...

I like how this is going, you have a good flow and should keep it up. You did a good job describing the school yard and his home, how it's ...

I like it, it's a good solid start, the characters are interesting. I don't really get the fantasy angle yet but I figure that will come in later. I think ...

Nice beginning I liked her escape, but It would be nice if you described the characters, more, I mean I'm drawing a blank on faces really. And it would be ...

Really nice, it makes for a good prologue. You have a good concept of hierarchy, and how the wolf pack would deal justice. Personally I thought the pendants were a ...

As a prologue it's nicely done and interesting. But as far as I can tell the skips between time and place are stilted and I didn't really see any connection ...

I only read the first two chapters but it seems like an interesting story, I like Ivy and Lyss characters. They seem to click together, even though their races are ...

Interesting, it's a good start and catches the interest of the reader. Even though its short it brings up plenty of questions. Who is Caolyn? Why was she sent on ...

An interesting prologue, it brings up ideas about times that have passed, I'll definitely read the story, although rather then just telling it like a fairy tale maybe you should ...

Well done, I'm curious to see what happens next. Amelia seems like a good main character, although a bit insecure, I get the feeling if you dig hard enough you'll ...

Very well done, I can honestly say that I'll keep reading the story. I especially like how you have his capture and then flash back in the dream to explain ...

The first day of classes was really well done. I enjoyed how you made the personalities of the three different teachers clash. Lokskrip for example seems like the type who ...

You've done a really good job portraying the academy and you did a good job just dropping the rules here and there rather then info dumping. The academy was described ...

I really liked how make it flow from one point to the next, the battle helped get things going at a nice pace. I'm a bit confused about the magic ...

Interesting, you did a really good job. But I think this would do better with a prologue. It raises some questions though, why did their life span shorten. Why are ...