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Re: Forever Gone
Hey! So overall I really enjoyed this poem. It was very easy to read and the lines connected well. I agree with the line "And here I must stay" sounding ...
Dec 23, 2009 -
Re: I Wish I Were A Boat Sailing Towards Your Sea
Hey, reviewing again! :) I like how you tell the whole story, there's a progression from the rush of wanting someone for the first time to actually getting them and ...
Dec 18, 2009 -
Re: A Lesson in Dying
Hey, so obviously you use imagery well here. There are a few technical points I thought might be helpful to point out, though. Mostly, the two stanzas feel disjointed, there's ...
Dec 17, 2009 -
Re: Someday
The idea here is great, and reminds me of some thoughts I've had too. However, it is a little confusing in the beginning. You switch from one line about a ...
Dec 15, 2009 -
Re: day to day
Hey, so I think most of the poem has a good flow to it. I like the lack of punctuation, actually. It helps replicate the fast paced day you seem ...
Dec 15, 2009 -
Re: I Hurt To Love You (revised)
Hi. So like me, you must love rhymes. I also write in complete rhyme patterns, but it can be tricky because some rhymes come out forced. Your emotion here is ...
Dec 14, 2009 -
Re: I remember
I like the idea of this poem, and the more developed lines really struck me. I think, though, you should try to add more to the lines, even if that ...
Dec 14, 2009 -
Re: Jenn's Pale Face
First, you have great imagery, the dream in the beginning as well as the description of the characters. I can tell a lot about both characters based on the way ...
Dec 13, 2009 -
Re: high water
As everyone says, picturing the poem is very easy, which is a great quality. I would suggest, if you wanted to make this piece stronger, try varying your vocabulary. A ...
Dec 13, 2009 -
Re: Sixteen and Forever
You have some great metaphors here, and a very clear point of view, but I would suggest looking back on the tenses you use. You switch between past and present ...
Dec 13, 2009
