smorgishborg

[spoiler]Stuck I'm undecided about this word. It's not particularly elegant is it? in undercurrents of inevitable events. While the surface is clean and tranquil the fish in the depths are ...

A note about the title: It's interesting, but not significant. It would be especially effective if it worked two ways, not just one. (PM me if you don't know what ...

Terrible. If you can't see the forest from the inside of your navel, don't write poetry. My instinct wants me to leave it at that, but I'll try to tell ...

There are plenty of bizarre stories on YWS. But we branch out, we don't specialize. Now, This story was interesting. Thats about the sum total of what I can say ...

It didn't work for me, I'm afraid. It's a step or two away from being quite good, however... What bothered me the most were quite word choices, which really disrupted ...

I'm sorry, but this one does nothing for me. I don't have any questions about your effort, you seemed to be trying, but I felt the effects of a lack ...

Well, it's nice. I enjoyed the roundabout way you approached a rather simple story. couldn 't’t Why did that keep happening? What [s]I[/s] must rank as my greatest success did ...

Interesting... Certainly unique, it all depends on where you go with this. She leaned her head back as she heard someone open the door to the jail. A weird line. ...

Nah, didn't cut it. Disjointed and rambling. The random bits of actual plot description were kinda useless, better cut them and let the dialogue speak (pun!) for itself. Better yet, ...

Supurb work. I like the complex rhyming, I almost missed it! What I liked the most was the use of toast as a metaphor for the rising oil prices worldwide.. ...

Ever read Harry Turtledove? :D Well, I really enjoy your ideas, and your writing, and your story. But On first read, you lost me utterly and totally. What you need ...

This is not lyric, nor is it poetry. In fact, I'd shudder to call it literature, the punctuation, spelling, and grammar is awful. Which leads me to ask... what are ...

The main problem wiith this is that I think it's too obscure, too nonsenical, too all-over-the place Yes. Nail/head. It holds some allure, I think, because of it's unconventional treatment ...

This poem displays a fundamental ignorance (possibly disinterest) in what makes a poem engaging to a reader. On some level, the reader must relate to the work. Because of this, ...

My feelings here are mixed. This is partially the case because this is way to little to work on. If you really want a full critique with full understanding, then ...