Published December 20, 2007
I'm eating toast. Toast
Which is why I boast
about cooking roast.
And I love toast the most
because it is a host
A host that is lost
cause.
'Cause.
[PS: this is a test XD]
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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140,868 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
Brilliant poem, brilliant critique schmorgashborgh. That made perfect sense.
... It amuses me that you actually felt you had to write "PS: This is a test" beneath it.
I'm not sure what's more amusing--the "test" itself or smorgishborg's critique.
1. OPEC is the pits.
2. Rhyming is the sux0rs.
3. Five points each to Snoink and Suzanne in the random points system that I just devised. ^~
Supurb work. I like the complex rhyming, I almost missed it! What I liked the most was the use of toast as a metaphor for the rising oil prices worldwide.. As a political statement it's first rate!
Implied in this statement, is that Suzanne has a Toyota Prius, and therefore boasts about it's superior MPG.For those who don't see it, Suzanne is eating toast is symbolic because she is also digesting the news that oil prices are through the roof. The passage of toast through the mouth, to the stomach is representative of the daily driving that Suzanne, and her family do. The use of toast, is in fact brilliant because toast is crumbly, and brittle, not unlike the egos of the players in today's ever growing economy.
A slang term for "tearing up the road", which in itself if slang for "driving".
This line actually has no meaning. I'd remove it Suzanne, I don't think it's in keeping with the voice of the poem.
The host is OPEC. Of course, the oil market is OPEC, and OPEC is the oil market. Brilliant.
Double meaning here. Not only has OPEC "lost it's way", but to force a rhyme, it could be pronounced "low-st". Clearly meaning "lowest" which means that OPEC is the lowest, dirtiest organization. Bet you didn't see that one coming.
Note the lack of capitalization. Genius.
Why do oil prices go up? Why is the sky blue?
'Cause.
I feel weird now. I'll do a real critique.
Yeah, it was my inspiration from a poor mid-dinner snack of toast!
Oh, stop trying to take all the credit, Snoink
To be fair, I helped her. XD
Suzie, this is a totally worthless piece of crap. Have you ever even heard of good poetry? I can't believe you would post something as horrid as this, even as a test. Honestly. Next time, spare all our souls.
I HATE YOU. <3
-Colly
I'm guessing you're making fun of those YWS members who aren't decisive enough to name their work, let alone write something worthewhile.
Clever, clever, clever.
A worthy satire, my dear Suzanne.
-Kylan
Wow. I was surprised by this. Seriously... Just, wow. I mean, I love how you give as a deep, vivid description of your life in such few verses, how you caress the words, making everything sound elegant and bursting with life. Have you been writing for a long time? I'll be turning 17 in February, and I can only wish to write as well as you do by then. But... one can only hope.
Comment dramatique!
=D Sarcasism isn't my thing, Suz. -hugs and up caughs uneasily- So I must admit. That was 100 times better then what kids at school can do. ^^;
Hmm Hmm? Does it?
I love to post.
I love it the most.
And I know I must boast,
About how I love to post,
And how I love toast--
Especially on the coast.
With the dolphins.
Awesome Clau! Such a very deep, well wrtten poem. I just know it came from the heart!
So does a new post count as a review?
this iz teh most aesome thing i've read1 rrite ,more.