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Re: skylight daydreams
Hello! september sky overhead my skylight daydreams drift away on the string of a single green balloon I think lots of short poems (including published ones) are hard to relate ...
Sep 28, 2010 -
Re: Falling into Addiction
Hey! Good descriptions and I like the way you have those descriptions but also present an important message without ruining your poem. Where there was once life it's (or "it ...
Sep 28, 2010 -
Re: Ashes Can Cast a Spell on Me
Hi! I thought that was really creative and cute. I can just imagine it in a children's book or something like that :). So, to get grammar out of the ...
Sep 28, 2010 -
Re: Don't know
I agree with StoryWeaver. The way the lines repeat so many times doesn't do anything to contribute to the poem. I think this is more like song lyrics than a ...
Sep 28, 2010 -
Re: Poor Little Eraser Dog
Aw... that was kind of sad but really interesting and creative at the same time. I really don't have much to say because your grammar and form were great though ...
Sep 21, 2010 -
Re: True Me
Hey! I like how this poem is basically what everyone thinks but doesn't want to say or much less do most of the time. It's really easy to relate to ...
Sep 20, 2010 -
Re: "I Love You," You Said
When I first glanced at the title of this poem I thought it would be something cliche since many poems with a title like "I Love You" are overly cliched. ...
Sep 17, 2010 -
Re: There's No Star
Hey! I like this poem a lot, especially how your line breaks are in many of your poems. My favorite was this part: I shiver in the cold, But the ...
Sep 17, 2010 -
Re: The Sun Rose
Hi! I really like the imagery in this poem, especially the "embers of the morning" part. There's only one part that I thought should be changed: As I walked through ...
Sep 15, 2010 -
Re: For the children of light.
Hello! I think this is a nice idea for a poem and the length of this poem seems just right. And fall deeper and deeper , Into nothing? To get ...
Sep 14, 2010 -
Re: Love
Alright, so, I think short poems are harder to review, but I'll give it a try. Love leaves scars to learn from; (I think it makes more sense to add ...
Sep 13, 2010 -
Re: Alone
Hi! Okay, so, what I got from this poem is that someone was mad at the person and left. The first stanza is good, but after reading it I'm expecting ...
Sep 12, 2010 -
Re: One Hundred Nights of Thunder
Hello! So, I really like this poem. The title captured my attention right away and I knew it would be an interesting poem. :) I like the first stanza the ...
Sep 12, 2010 -
Re: never to believe
Hello and welcome to YWS! This poem is very loose, and though punctuation is not necessary, spell check really helps with grammar. I don 't beli e ve anything you ...
Sep 12, 2010 -
Re: Reflection of a Corpse
Welcome to YWS! So, this is a good poem, and I like the way you wrote the "reflection" concept. Tell me if you’re truly proud of all that you’ve become, ...
Sep 12, 2010
