Look into that puddle
and tell me what you see.
Tell me if the man in the ground
is the man you want to be.
Tell me if you’re truly proud
of all that you’ve become,
if the man looking back at you
is worth all you’ve said and done.
Is the water mirror showing
a uniquely sculpted knight,
or a soldier lost in crowds of others,
forgetting why he fights.
Maybe once you were a fool
but at least one of a kind.
Had you continued on that road,
you’d have left that fool behind.
But no, you chose a different road,
the same way most have gone.
And your footsteps, lost in dirt long trodden
simply don’t belong.
Remember where you came from.
Remember who you are.
Resurrect the brave man
who dreamed to make it far.
The man who more than anything
desired to be free,
to claim his spirit as his own,
not as a slave to society.
But now you’ve given yourself away.
Your name you lost long ago.
Now you’re just another man
another empty soul.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi Laurelin3! Welcome to the magical world of the Young Writers' Society. I love this poem! It flows smoothly and falls off the tongue, and you didn't seem restricted by your rhyme scheme. Other than that missing question mark, which Simplycomplex already pointed out, I really can't find anything wrong with this poem. Your reviewing skills are excellent! Keep writing, and I hope to see you around!
- Abigail
Welcome to YWS!
So, this is a good poem, and I like the way you wrote the "reflection" concept.
I like this stanza; it flows smoothly.
This last stanza is good except the rhyming is thrown off a little. The pattern you created throughout your poem is mostly consistent except for a couple lines that stick out or don't fit as well.
Overall, good work, and since my mind is going blank I can't think of anything now... well, keep writing!