silversky

hello! This is a really nice concept for a short story but I think you need to expand on the main character. He didn't really seem disturbed at the beginning ...

Wow, that was probably one of the best essays I've ever read, and I've read a lot of essays. You're use of voice and the is amazing and spot on. ...

very poetic. great use of extended metaphor. my favorite lines were," And while your slugs may had others to dance with, My skin is still cold from your reign." that ...

This reminded me of a folk tale. It had the same whimsical yet real feel, if that makes since. I love how the little girl is so wise, almost like ...

oh my, very creepy. You definitely achieved the mood you were going for. I got goosebumps at the end. The part where she kills the two men is a little ...

Hmm very interesting concept. I think you need a why though. You have all this great descriptive language and these epic events but you don't explain why God made them ...

You definitely did not loose the happy feeling you were aiming for. This sounds straight out of a published book. It has a magical and whimsical feeling that was so ...

Mind=blown. That was an amazing commentary on being an adolescent. Very true and easy to make a connection to. Your word choice was amazing and sophisticated without sounding out of ...

Great story, room for improvement though. You definitely want to go over your grammar, But I''m not in a position to judge. you should also look at your word choice, ...

Well, I'm just going to go somewhere and feel completely inadequate now. Your writing is breathtaking and flows seamlessly. You describe the scene in such vivid detail I can't help ...

Thats deep. I can definitely relate to this, very truthful and raw. Maybe you can make it a little more personal. I know its weird, but we have absolutely no ...

Wow, this is a great piece, very descriptive. The first paragraph was a great hook. You might want to clarify some things though, like was he an angel, demon, or ...