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Re: Dwarves of Pompeii
okay cool, maybe I missed that when I was reading
Sun Nov 30, 2014 9:28 pm -
Re: Dwarves of Pompeii
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 9:08 pm
hello, rissymay here for a review! The beginning isn't very original- I've read so many beginnings similar to that. I'd suggest changing it so it pulls the reader in right ... -
Re: Pine Shelter Building.
ok. cool
Sun Nov 30, 2014 8:48 pm -
Re: The Celebration of Life
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 8:47 pm
nice story you have here! Here's what I thought: Initially, the first sentences don't really make the reader interested. The part about the shifting religion caused some interest in me, ... -
Re: The Boy, Delaney: Ch. 1
I like that I'm beginning to know Fae's character- what her interests are and stuff. I'd like to know a little more about Robin- appearance, her interests and such. Hopefully ...
Sun Nov 30, 2014 8:09 pm -
Re: Pine Shelter Building.
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 7:58 pm
Not sure what to think of the periods between paragraphs. My suggestion is to just get rid of them and make transitions between paragraph so it flows nicely, and then ... -
Re: I'll never know
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 7:44 pm
Hello, rissymay here for a review. I don't usually review poetry and probably suck at it, so... don't any of my advice if you don't agree with it :D i ... -
Re: [reworking ch. 1
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 4:40 pm
hello, it's rissymay... good story, and I have a few things to share... Ok, so as I'm reading on I'm noticing that you're focusing a lot on the setting, which ... -
Re: Monsters
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 6:18 am
hello, rissymay here. Good story! here's what I thought: I know the very first paragraph is supposed to be exciting, but it didn't really excite me... I'd say add a ... -
Re: Potions (Imperfections)
Me likey. Me have no idea how to review poetry. Me leave it alone. Me leave it for someone else. Me muy likey. Me likey message. Me is going to ...
Sun Nov 30, 2014 6:05 am -
Re: III:The Revelation
yessss cool. meh. I don't want to develop theories.
Sun Nov 30, 2014 5:59 am -
Re: Retension
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 5:58 am
hello, rissymay here... I like the idea about writing about a hoarder. Interesting, different from anything I've read before. The paragraph sizes are daunting... I suggest cutting them up a ... -
Re: Chapter 2: The Magicians
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 5:17 am
Hi, rissymay again. I'm really getting a sense of who Billie's mother is- you did a good job of defining her more in this chapter. I feel like Billie's being ... -
Re: Chapter one: The Interrogation
o-o i have no idea why that review posted twice. something weird happened. dunno.
Sun Nov 30, 2014 4:51 am -
Re: Chapter one: The Interrogation
Note: This review has been deleted
Sun Nov 30, 2014 4:50 am
Hello... I really like what you have going on here, and I'm interested in the next chapters... you have definitely pulled me into the world of this story... About the ...
