I'll never know

Hello. Please take this with a grain of salt, and do not be offended, I’m just trying to give you an honest critique.

So I think I am confused at what this was trying to do. The narrator wants to be positive, and then they list of all these positive things, but then they say they’re still not positive, so I’m wondering… What was the point of all those things? What is the point of this poem?

Okay, so some technical things.
COMMAS!!!!
This needs commas. It is missing commas. You need them. You can’t get by without them. There are also a few other typos. Let me show you the places:

All changes in bold

The saddest one’s smile is the brightest.
The damaged are the wisest.
If one is hurt, one can heal.
If life is like a camera, capture the good times.
If fear finds your weakness, then learn from it to become stronger.
Because life is 80% difficulties, it makes the 20% is even more special.
Because you give away what you wanted, you receive something better.
Because he struggled, you are capable of helping others.

The lonely one is the kindest. Cliché

The saddest one smile is the brightest. Cliché, and this isn’t very positive: their smile is the brightest because they’re faking, and it really isn’t the brightest if they’re sad.

The damaged are the wisest. Slightly cliché, but I’ll take it.

If one is hurt, one can heal. This sounds cliché, though I’ve never heard it before, probably because it doesn’t make sense. Maybe empathy-wise it does, but if one is undergoing open heart surgery and some kid comes up and asks that person to put a bandaid on their knee, there’s nothing that guy can do about it. He’s out cold. Just point out the flaws in this idea.

If life is like a camera, capture the good times. This also sounds like a cliché, but why would life be like a camera? All of these kind of sound like rejected hallmark greeting card phrases.

If fear finds your weakness, then learn from it to become stronger. How “fear” is sentient and can find one’s weakness, I don’t know, but this is probably a clichéd, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Because life is 80% difficulties it makes the 20% is even more special. Where did we get these statistics from? Did you know 90% of all statistics are made up? Stay away from statistics (they’re cliché anyway) and just say “much of life” rather than 80%. But even at that, this line is cliché.

Because you give away what you want, you receive something better. I guess I can see this as in “giving to the poor” makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but that service kind of thing is the only way I see this as making sense. Also cliché~
Because he struggled you were capable of helping others. Again, I’m not sure if this is religious?

Hello, rissymay here for a review. I don't usually review poetry and probably suck at it, so... don't any of my advice if you don't agree with it i am a story-novel-person reviewing poetry, so this might be interesting.

first line- maybe substitute "feel positive" with an example of what the positive-ness would be like, or an analogy or something... right now it's kinda blunt and almost too direct.

It's kind of strange how the thought in the first line leads to the thoughts in the lines following it. I honestly don't see a connection between them...

I love the lines 2-5. They are so truthful and inspiring. Great job with those.

I don't agree with lines 6-9 as much. They didn't seem as truthful or as well written as you did lines 2-5.

Last line seems strange and confusing... I don't really get it, how the narrator doesn't know, because he/she just listed all these things that he/she does know... again, I suggest changing the "feel positive" part on this line.

So yeah... hoped this was somewhat-maybe helpful... I probably sucked, but I'm just trying to help, so I hope it was ok
Keep writing, and Happy November Review Day!
-rissymay

Hey its Katie here! You did a really good job! Your piece is one of my favorites!
It's not over dramatic or under done. I knew this is a weird way to say it but its pure? I don't know if that makes since but its the one word replaying through my mind while Im writing this.
Your inspiration must have been a great one!
I think this was greatly written! You need to continue writing!
Thanks, and if you have time try to get a few reviews in today!

That was sweet and beautiful. Jack here for a quick review!

That felt different to most poems, it was rushed or anything but it felt laid back and it was really good that way. I loved it and it was so sad, and I really felt the emption in the poem, and it was extremely well written. It felt to me like something Taylor swift would write in a song, but so much better!!

I don't know why I like it so much, it is well described I suppose, but I really felt like I could relate to the poem you wrote, and that is awesome! it was like the lines at the start and the end were the same, which was good, but you made a slight tweak at the end. Saying she will never know which is just great! and despite the poems simpleness it was divine!

The lonely one is the kindest.

The saddest one smile is the brightest.

The damaged or the wisest.

I loved this, it felt to me that it made it like a beast, it was perfectly done and there is nothing I can do to possibly edit it, though maybe the last line:/ could do with some revising ha-ha. Either way it was awesome!!

So overall this was great, I really enjoyed reading this short poem, and It just proves to me how much talent you have when it comes to writing poems, so much more than me, if you ever have a look at my failed attempt at writing a poem. So anyway great job, and I am looking forward to seeing this in the literary spotlight, because like so many pieces on YWS they are amazing, like I cant comprehend the amount of good work i find on this sight, it makes me feel like I suck, well I do. So anyway great job and a thumbs up!!

Always keep writing, oh and try some Sci-fi writing always the best;)

Jack