The shatters of glass littering the floor crunched under twenty-four sets of panicked students' feet. I heard frantic screaming all around me. The kids from my art class ran around me and wailed like it was Armageddon. My eyes weren't focused on the chaos, though. I was busy staring into the angry, reptilian eyes of a gorgon.
~~~~~~~~~~~
It started normally enough this morning. My dad and mom waved me off as I boarded my friend's car to ride to school. I suffered through several periods of absolute boredom, until suddenly
RRRRRIIIIINGGGG!
The bell wailed, and my 5th Period Science teacher, Mrs. Frost, ordered us out the door of class to gratefully leave us to our assorted other teachers. As soon as I entered the room, I streaked to my seat and yanked out my huge construction paper portfolio. It was dotted with doodles of multicolored seashells and anatomically correct sketches of seahorses. I grabbed my charcoal and scratched a rough outline of a woman with gorgeous curly hair. She smiled from the page, and my immature part wanted to wave. But passing sixth grade Art is important, I reminded myself, and turned my attention to the teacher.
Just as Ms. Johnson was about to explain the day's art project, a huge, shadowy figure smashed through the enormous art-covered window, landing with an enormous crash onto my desk. My classmates fell from their chairs in their effort to get away from the strange person, running to the other side of the room and standing there in shock and silence. I realized the poor person must be a woman, and she looked injured. Still unable to wrench myself from the seat, I reached out a hand to touch her, maybe see what was wrong.
Then the horrifying humanoid figure raised her head and stared at me.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I withdrew my hand quickly. Her sickening eyes peered deep into mine. She had no irises, instead, her eyes are completely orange, except for her red slit pupils. Her pulsing slit pupils read my identity like a book. I stare into only her eyes, but she stares into me.
But I managed to wrench myself from her horrible, hypnotic eyes and tried to focus on another part of her face, any other part of her face. So, instead, I focused on her hair--or should I say, her snakes. They hissed feebly around her shoulders. Her smoking cape lay draped around her reptilian shoulders, barely hiding her scales. Under that, she wore a ripped white priestess's dress fastened with a belt made of more living serpents. Her face sported two vicious-looking tusks. She dripped thick, golden blood from her innumerable cuts and scratches. Her animal-like hands were bronze, and the talons gleamed wickedly in the sun.
She looked down at the childish charcoal drawing she was dripping blood on. She snatched it up with clawed fingers. She stroked its surface with such gentleness, it’d have been almost sweet, if it hadn’t been so terrifying. I can smell her stale breaths she examines my art.
"I used to look like this," she croaked. Her voice sounded unused, like she's spent the last few years screaming into a pillow to communicate. "Young. Pretty.I think this is just a lovely portrait of me, dear. Thank you for it, how much will that cost?" She turned to me and babbled. Her huge fangs were inches from my nose, but her tusks are already touching them. I could taste the curdled smell of blood on her breath.
The beast sighed. "Ah, but look at me now, little ones. I said look at me!" she screamed.
She whipped around furiously, as if to find whoever wasn't looking at her on command. Her eyes locked onto my poor art teacher, who was cowering by the big red wall-phone on the other side of the room, frantically typing in numbers 9-1-1. Ms. Johnson dropped the phone in terror. The snake-woman narrowed her eyes and approached.
"You look a lot like the woman who did this to me," she sang.
She's insane. She's absolutely mad, I thought in horror.
She swayed with each step, wobbling like she was drunk. She looked like she has been through too many fights, and one of the broken bones had cracked her sanity, too.
"You look just like her!" The monster giggled wildly as she approached. "Juuuuuust like her. Such pretty hair, such pretty eyes... Yes, that is you, isn't it! Yes, you did hate my sister, didn't you! You really did want her to suffer." She turns on my classmates, hissing and spitting. "Oh, children, I should never have taken part of her burden. Look at what it did to me, children. Look what being kind has done to me! Never be kind, children. Whatever you do, never sacrifice to save your sister. Oh, she's dead now. A man came down from the sky and stole her head and her life with a polished shield. She's dead, and who's left? Not my other little sister. Oh, she wasn't supposed to die, like me, but she-- she just-- disappeared one day. Into smoke," she babbled angrily, spinning away from the kids and ranting to the ceiling.
A strange mix of horror, shock, fear, and pity washed over me. I listened to the words inside my head over and over, and recalled a myth I read a long time ago... Suddenly, I broke up her terrifying monologue, words exploding form my mouth before I could stop to consider whether it was a good idea to speak them.
"Who are you? You're one of the sisters of Medusa, aren't you? The two immortal sisters who shared Athena's curse? Stethno and Euryale, right?"
She spun towards me, her face the picture of a surprised monster.
"Yes. I am the eldest, Stethno. You remember me?"
"Y-yes." I hadn't thought of what to say next when I blurted the question out. I knew the myth, of course, but I was worried she would kill me if I talk too much. She seemed to like ranting manically. "I remember you, yes."
"I thought the humans had forgotten us." Stethno's face softened.
"No, no," I told her, gathering confidence. "You are the stuff of great legends! People write stories about you, and tell them to their children, and their children, and their children. No one forgot you, ever!"
Her eyes gleam triumphantly. "They shall write new stories of today, then! The day the eldest gorgon escaped the Earth Mother's grasp and razed the humans! Burned them to the ground! I shall be remembered forever!"
"No!" I cried out, panicking. I collected myself a little and continued, "I-I mean, you can be remembered forever, even without the razing and the... burning to the ground and all that. You don't have to destroy us. I mean, you are human under those snakes, right? Human, like us?"
Stethno's eyes shone with unshed tears. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, I am human."
"Humans don't go around killing other humans, usually,” I pointed out cautiously.
Her face burned with shame. "I was so lonely..."
"I know." I stepped closer to the gorgon and stretched my hand out. Part of me screamed to run away, but instead I drew nearer. I rested a hand on her shoulder and she sobs.
"You don't attack people to be less lonely, though. I know. My parents are gone, and I used to lash out at my foster parents." I found myself telling Stethno everything. I forgot about the other kids watching us. I forgot that she's an immortal mythical death-monster who was just threatening to raze our civilization and all that. I told her the whole story, about how my parents died last year in the car crash, about how I had to move across the country and left behind all of my friends and family. About how I screamed at my foster parents every night for months. I was scared and lonely and broken, and I lashed out at the people trying to help me. Stethno listened quietly the whole time. No ranting, crazy screaming, or hissing, just silence. When I finished, she stared at me for a few minutes. Then she curled her scaly lips around her tusks into a smile.
"Thank you, human. Thank you for sharing your story with me."
She turned around slowly, dripping her strange golden blood across the floor. Stethno suddenly broke into a hobbling run and jumped, falling the three stories to the ground. The wind caught the huge, bronze wings that unfurled from her back. They ripped away her shawl as they snap open, and she flies away without it, over the skyline and into the trees. My classmates watched her sail away silently, too stunned to speak. She let out a cry that was pitiable and terrifying, shaking our bones. Then she just disappeared. The last gorgon alive... gone.
And the strangest thing is, she took my picture with her when she left.
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hello, rissymay here. Good story! here's what I thought:

I know the very first paragraph is supposed to be exciting, but it didn't really excite me... I'd say add a twist so the reader is more interested.
She smiled from the page, and my immature part wanted to wave. But passing sixth grade Art is important, I reminded myself, and turned my attention to the teacher.-- ok, so these two thoughts aren't connected... took me by surprise. it's kinda jumpy.
Ok, so why does your MC not run to the wall like everyone else? What makes him/different?
The whole story seems a little rushed to me... I'd say slow down, develop things a little more.
It's also never clear why Stethno was there in the first place... I think you should add that in somewhere.
Aww. sweet ending
I think you should work on developing a writing style you like- you can experiment and pick one, because a certain style can really add to the interest of a story.
So yeah... keep writing! Happy November Review Day!
Thanks for the advice! I'll work on the story some more.
Happy Review Day!
Hi! Cricket here for a review!

Seeing as I haven't reviewed anything for you before, I thought I'd take a quick peek at this.
Well reading this, at first I was expecting some sort of horror monster to pop up and scare the living hell out of me. Gorgan's were always in a soft spot for me, as I love Greek Mythology. What I loved about this, was that the eldest sister isn't talked about much, if at all. It's mainly just Medusa that you hear about, and not her sisters. I love how you brought this particular character to life in this manner, especially the way that you almost made her seem human in the end. Gave us a way to relate to her.
What I wasn't sure I liked was how fast it all took place. Not in how fast the monster showed up and so forth, but how quickly the Gorgan was convinced to not hurt them. Seemed really sudden, and not at all realistic. I would have liked it to be a little more drawn out in that spot. Maybe build up the suspense just a little more, before crashing over into the part when she flies away. Sound good to you?
With numbers, you normally try and actually write them out. (Like twenty-four for this one)
Technical
Just a tense change that I found.
Alright, I don't know if you use Microsoft Word, or some other type of word processor, but in Word em-dashes are done in this way. The em-dash is one completely unbroken line. Here it seems that you put two n-dashes together to act as an em-dash. In Word, if you take do the two dashes like you have here,then type a word directly afterwards, and then do a space directly afterwards, you will get that single unbroken line. Make sense?
Gone should be lowercase, as it's still attached to the last sentence and therefore isn't the start of a new one.
That's all really for nitpicking. I suppose the main thing that I really did like about this, was how you made the Gorgan seem human. And also, that picture thing that you did was pure genius. She see's it and remembers what she was like, before Athena had turned her and her sisters into complete monsters. Even if the painting is rough-- as it was drawn by a 6th grader-- it still was something that she was able to see and soften up to. Obviously, after living a life where everyone rejects and hates her, she's going to have some serious hate issues. I would, as I specified earlier, like to see this a wee bit more.
I mean, just because she was reminded of the fact that she's still human, doesn't mean that the anger is going to completely dissipate and she's going to all of a sudden fly away! So drag it out a little more, try and create some more suspense.
One more thing. I would have liked a little, teensy bit more on the setting. Not much really, but something along the lines of where the door is for instance? Things of that nature. Make a clear outline of the room in your mind, and then try writing that out. Even though I got a pretty good view of the little details, I still wasn't able to see the big stuff, like the location of the door. It was a little foggy. Little things are important as well, and you could also give details such as the color of the walls, if you want. Just a thought.
Okay, that's all from me for now! This is an absolutely amazing work, and I hope to see more from you in the future.
Keep writing!
~Cricket
Thanks for the review!
It's pretty dramatic.
NOTE: I really love Greek mythology!! I wanted a villain who wasn't very well-known and was also really dramatic. Poor Stethno had such a sad life...
Anyway, as I said below, I'm TERRIBLE with tenses and grammar. :S I'll get that sorted out as soon as I can.
Your new avvie looks so SAD.
~Cat
Hello! This story has to be your hard work for countless hours, right? I like it very much.

I like the detailed way you portrayed Stethno. Thw way you used the five senses to describe the encounter with her was excellent.
"Her huge fangs are inches from my nose, but her tusks are already touching them. I can taste the curdled smell off blood on her breath."
Very few people can manage to use the senses of touch, smell and taste to describe (Those who cannot includes me), but you have managed just as well. Well done!
Moreover, through the speech of the characters you portrayed their personality and personal feelings very well. Keep them on.
Some tiny suggestions:
1. Stethno's eyes glow with tears. "Yes," she whispers. "Yes, I am human."
I don't quite understand it here. Maybe you could describe more. For example:
Stethno's orange eyes suddenly glitter. I realize that the shimmering 'dew' are tears.
Or something alike. I think this will help you express and describe more.
2. In the flashback you used past tense, and the others you used present tense. It is my personal preference but I think using the past tense for the whole piece is better, but it is your choice and you have the right to decide. But if you decide to use the present tense the whole piece except for the flashback,
"Y-yes." I hadn't thought of what to say next when I blurted the question out. I know the myth, of course, but I'm worried she's going to kill me if I talk too much. She seems to like ranting manically. "I remember you, yes."
should be changed as:
"Y-yes." I haven't thought *much* of what to say next when I blurt the question out.
I think the added 'much' should express what you wanted better.
3. The ending
I think you could say more in the end because I think it was sort of hasted. For a more thoughtful feeling and meaning in the end, you may wish to say:
I look at her soaring in the sky, my teacher and classmates soundless. I wonder if I would see her ever again, but I hope she could ease her anger and never burn anyone to the ground.
Of course it is completely your choice to decide on how one piece ends. This s merely a suggestion.
Overall this is a good piece, but I think you can add meaning to your story bit by bit along its flow to give it more depth. However, this is a really good piece, and I hope to read more from you.
Thank you for the review!
I'll fix that, thanks.
1. Oh, yes, some of my descriptions make no sense.
2. I'm TERRIBLE when it comes to doing tenses. People often comment on it.
3. Yes, the end was a little more hurried. I guess it's because I was finishing it up late last night. I'm going to edit it soon.
Thanks again for the review.
~Cat