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Re: The Urge to Jump
Hi,Pony123 here to review! WOW! Is about all I have to say. The ending made me shudder. Which is good. All the imagery is amazing. Which is good. Everything was ...
Feb 7, 2014 -
Re: Grey as running Ink
Hi, Pony123 here to review~ I really liked the imagery in this, "Anxious, yet still like something freshly born." It makes me think of a baby. You have great imagery, ...
Feb 7, 2014 -
Re: Abortion
Just a short comment: I totally agree with your points. You really wrote alot for 15 minutes! Better than I could do! You have the normal grammar mistakes, not capitalizing, ...
Jan 28, 2014 -
Re: The longest break ever
Pony123 here to review your work. Happy Review Day! Your poem is a very simple, short and to the point poem. I like that. I especially like the last line. ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Fields and Fields and
Pony123 here to review! Happy review day. You have a great poem here! I like the simplicity, the imagery, all the things needed to have a good poem. You have ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Deadly Wish
Nice Story! Pony123 here to review! I think you did a good job of capturing teen age girls and putting it on paper. You made Vanessa the cliche jerk, and ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: No Easy Life
Pony123 here to critique your work. Happy review day! I almost cried when I read this. It felt heart-warming, and tragic. Your style really captures that. You mastered the narrative ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Forgotten Things Wash Up Here (Gorillaz Plastic Beach) Chapter 2: Questioning
First off, I want to say this is a great addition to your story. I have two things for you to work on, " His breath rains on me" I ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: All This Time Part 1 of 2
Hi, Pony123 here to review your work. Happy review day! I really was drawn into this chapter by your good use of verbs, adjectives. I think maybe you could cut ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: The Softness of Cheeks
Good job on being simple. I usually cant focus on anything longer than three stanzas and you realy drew mew me in. your talent shows in this peice. The last ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: But They Are Not.
You have a great poem here! I like the metaphors and imagery that you use. My favorite is the first line " The bitter wind that is spoken word" It ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Two Sides of A Twin - A Detective Ivy case
I like how you draw us in. Nice job . You had enough to make us interested, and not too much to make us bored. You have mastered the technique ...
Jan 10, 2014 -
Re: The Sanatores: Prolouge
I like it! It captivated me right from the start! I liked the father's relationship with his daughter, (Touching). You also set the scene very well. One thing I would ...
Jan 8, 2014 -
Re: A Fairytale
I loved this piece. It was touching and heart warming. I especially liked when the boy came in to ask his dad something. And how the father had a good ...
Jan 8, 2014 -
Re: How to be a Spy
This was AWESOME! You captivated me by using the character's voice. A toddler wouldn't use big vocab or think through things alot. You really showed that he was a toddler ...
Jan 7, 2014