perdido

I saw the infamous Naked Cowboy in Times Square today. That was odd. anyway The rhyme scheme is sonnet style but the meter is really, really off, and meter is ...

I didn't like how those two lines were isolated and spaced out like that. I also had a problem with some of the enjambment, usually you should never end a ...

I just saw a masque called The Fairy Queen... a semi-opera. It was four hours long... it was 1/3 shakespeare, 1/3 opera, and 1/3 LSD Festival. Although I don't know ...

I'd work on your word choice. In fact, I think that your best ally when considering this piece for revising is condensation. You've got plenty of imagery and even 'the ...

i think this poem is kind of annoying because... basically what you are saying is that you are too good to pay attention to other poetry. If you want to ...

I actually wrote a poem about not knowing what to write... similar to this one... and that was my first piece that ever got published so you never know what ...

I'm not a fan of graphic novels, not one bit, but honestly this seems like it would really make me laugh if I were to pick it up... you know ...

Hypo, I like it a lot. Factories should be Factory's. Also, I really didn't like "darklight." the penultimate stanza was really weak I thought, but the stanza above it was ...

don't use the word "whence." Its like your trying to be archaic but... that's dumb. someone said that it flows well but that is wrong. the first stanza seems to ...

too much unnecessary punctuation at the end of lines. You really don't need commas at the end of lines. I'd rearrange the flow, some lines are too long and wordy, ...

cliche and forgettable. I'll give you the same advice I've given many others: read read read read. You can't write something novel and interesting unless you know what's out there. ...

this would have been good except the rhyming is so tedious. Forced rhyme is rampant here. other then that you've got the jist of it, lots of words and things. ...

its an okay poem. The rhythm is really off in some places, I think your piece would benefit from condensation, i don't think I can say that enough. The first ...

its like reverse russian roulette. Like, the version you play when you are by yourself. I'd take out the things that are cliche, the things like "a single tear rolls ...

A lot of strong words right off the bat. I like that. However, it really starts to break down in the second stanza. The lines are choppy and they don't ...