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Re: Blurb
This is an interesting beginning, and it draws the reader in. As well you're starting to create a story, but I think you need a bit of grammatical editing, several ...
Feb 20, 2015 -
Re: Never Ending Questions (Revised)
Your repetition in each of your stanzas brings the piece together, but overall I feel this is lacking depth and imagery. You keep a consistent rhythm, but I'm not even ...
Feb 17, 2015 -
Re: wait and see
I really like the dark ominous feel you have here. It may be short, but overall you've created a good effect that gives you that dark feeling without being depressing. ...
Feb 17, 2015 -
Re: The Long Night
The description and imagery used is beautiful and well done. I do fine that when describing the bride it seems a bit confusing and out of place. The scene set ...
Feb 14, 2015 -
Re: Impossible but Bound [Edited]
This is a beautiful piece, stunning really. The story is so descriptive and perfectly flowing. It was easy read and I have only one small comment. Towards the end, you ...
Feb 14, 2015 -
Re: Stale Water
I like the depth of this poem, it gets to the core of what humanity has become. I do however wonder what you meant by saying "the limit is nigh," ...
Feb 14, 2015 -
Re: Your Majesty, Your Grace
I like this, its well worded and flows well for the most part. I do find trouble with your scheme, if you were intending to rhyme 'blade' and 'hades' it ...
Feb 14, 2015 -
Re: Beast of the Sea
I don't know why, but this poem has a childish feel to it, that made it feel like a school yard jump rope rhyme. It made it enjoyable to read, ...
Feb 13, 2015 -
Re: Define Normal
I enjoy this poem greatly, and your use of words. I think making every punctuation a question adds a strong sense to it as if an interrogation. The us of ...
Feb 13, 2015 -
Re: Falling Out Of Tune
This is beautiful, and stunning. While reading it I could feel the rhythm and imagine the music to go with it. Your lines "to be what everybody expects me to ...
Feb 13, 2015 -
Re: Life
I feel that this poem is more narrative than anything, its very hard to get the rhythm you were intending. I do enjoy how you ended it though, you can ...
Feb 13, 2015 -
Re: Give me Peace
The imagery of this poem is beautiful. I reread it several times before writing this down. The meaning is very relatable and you executed it amazingly. My only comment is ...
Feb 13, 2015
