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ooh4764

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Supernatural Re: Blurb

    This is an interesting beginning, and it draws the reader in. As well you're starting to create a story, but I think you need a bit of grammatical editing, several ...

    Feb 20, 2015
  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: Never Ending Questions (Revised)

    Your repetition in each of your stanzas brings the piece together, but overall I feel this is lacking depth and imagery. You keep a consistent rhythm, but I'm not even ...

    Feb 17, 2015
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Realistic Re: wait and see

    I really like the dark ominous feel you have here. It may be short, but overall you've created a good effect that gives you that dark feeling without being depressing. ...

    Feb 17, 2015
  • Poetry » General, Other Re: The Long Night

    The description and imagery used is beautiful and well done. I do fine that when describing the bride it seems a bit confusing and out of place. The scene set ...

    Feb 14, 2015
  • Short Story » Romantic, Dramatic Re: Impossible but Bound [Edited]

    This is a beautiful piece, stunning really. The story is so descriptive and perfectly flowing. It was easy read and I have only one small comment. Towards the end, you ...

    Feb 14, 2015
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Stale Water

    I like the depth of this poem, it gets to the core of what humanity has become. I do however wonder what you meant by saying "the limit is nigh," ...

    Feb 14, 2015
  • Poetry » Literature, Dramatic Re: Your Majesty, Your Grace

    I like this, its well worded and flows well for the most part. I do find trouble with your scheme, if you were intending to rhyme 'blade' and 'hades' it ...

    Feb 14, 2015
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Beast of the Sea

    I don't know why, but this poem has a childish feel to it, that made it feel like a school yard jump rope rhyme. It made it enjoyable to read, ...

    Feb 13, 2015
  • Poetry » Realistic, General Re: Define Normal

    I enjoy this poem greatly, and your use of words. I think making every punctuation a question adds a strong sense to it as if an interrogation. The us of ...

    Feb 13, 2015
  • Lyrics » Lyrical, Realistic Re: Falling Out Of Tune

    This is beautiful, and stunning. While reading it I could feel the rhythm and imagine the music to go with it. Your lines "to be what everybody expects me to ...

    Feb 13, 2015
  • Poetry » Narrative, Realistic Re: Life

    I feel that this poem is more narrative than anything, its very hard to get the rhythm you were intending. I do enjoy how you ended it though, you can ...

    Feb 13, 2015
  • Poetry » Spiritual, Realistic Re: Give me Peace

    The imagery of this poem is beautiful. I reread it several times before writing this down. The meaning is very relatable and you executed it amazingly. My only comment is ...

    Feb 13, 2015


Some call me a legacy, others call me a hero. But I assure you, dear admirers, I am only human.
— Persistence